dodraibeid

So there's this HUGE rat infestation three doors down from me, right? Like, so bad the people had to move. A few days ago some muckitymuck from the city health department knocks on our door to tell us about it. He tells us to make sure any food we throw out gets wrapped up in plastic before we throw it in the trash and whatnot. So we did, and things are looking good, there's no food laying around, everything's in airtight containers. Jeff starts joking that we should mix up some Decon and peanut butter and put it in the back yard and watch the slaughter. We see a few rats scurry across the yard, but apart from that, our lives weren't disrupted too much by the rats...

Until now.

I saw one in the laundry room this morning. I looked right into his beedly little eyes, saw through them to the black soul of the beast. In the rat's eyes I saw plague. I saw pain. I saw death.

This will not do at all.

Nobody insinuates themselves into my home without permission. This encroachment was one step too far. This agression against my home, my security, my very way of life will not stand.

This is war!

The next time I see a rat in this house, it will be asked to leave. And I won't do it politely either. I'll be like "Hey! You! Rat! Get the fuck outta my house, BEEYOTCH! I'm thirty times your size and I pay the fuckin bills aound here and I sez you gotta GO NOW!"