Can't believe how long its been since I last blogged!! So much has changed since then, its quite funny to look back.
I'm still in the process of getting my tattoos lasered off so I can get a cover up - I've only had 3 sessions but moved away from the place I was getting it done, which made me less inclined to carry on!
Part of the reason I moved away from it was that I got in a relationship. It was going really well - up until January this year. To cut a long story short, she started getting really weird, barely talking to me. By the end of January I finally managed to drag out of her that it was down to her family. She comes from an Indian family who never knew about me - because I'm white and have a son, they wouldn't approve. She had got to the stage where she felt we were serious enough that children and/or marriage might happen, and she got cold feet because she thought her dad would disown her, and make the rest of her family do the same.
After spending all of February dragging out making a decision about it all, she told me she wanted to stay together. But then literally a week later, decided that she couldn't! So we broke up. Hit me really hard, and was really difficult for my son too, as he had got really attached to her (he's 5).
Its been a difficult few months - I was really happy, thought we'd genuinely be together forever. Whats harder is that we're still Facebook friends, and I know people that work with her - and all I keep seeing or hearing about is that she seems fine, while I've been moping around, feeling like shit. I don't know whether she's just putting a brave face on things - initially after we broke up, we were still talking, and she was saying that she was just trying to keep busy and do stuff so that she wasn't sat at home on her own.
But as time has gone on, I guess I've just had to give myself a kick up the arse. There's no point sitting around feeling sorry for myself, that won't help anyone.
So I've hit the gym hard - I had a bit of a dad bod before, something she said she liked - but as much as women say they like them, I bet they really prefer a Channing Tatum, Gerard Butler or Daniel Craig to Ricky Gervais or James Cordon!
I've also started having a look at online dating. Tinder (crap, never loads unless you've got wifi), Plenty of Fish (some very odd people on there), Happn and Match.com.
And I really don't like it. Been on 3 dates with 3 different people so far.
The first spent all night making eyes at the barman, and then while I was out of the country on a motorbike tour one weekend just after, got the hump because I wasn't messaging her all the time (bear in mind I was in a different country and didn't want a massive phone bill!)
The second left me sitting at the bar for 90 minutes while she sat outside in her car. We were texting the whole time, but for some reason that she wouldn't divulge, she wouldn't come in. In the end I had to go out, and she still stayed sat in her car, with the door shut, while I stood next to it!
And then the third. Met her for coffee, and we got on amazingly well. Really, really well. We then bumped into each other over the next couple of days, getting trains home from the city we both work in. But then I started to notice something strange - lots of inconsistencies in things she was saying, didn't quite sit right with me. And then after less than a week, we were talking about holidays - and then she suggested we start planning to book one together. Now my reaction might not have been as excited as it should have been, but I just questioned whether it might be a bit soon to start planning holidays. Which obviously didn't go down well! Apparently I then 'wasn't the person she thought I was', and 'had different intentions' to her! After not speaking for a week, she then messaged me again saying she felt bad about how things had been left, and that she had been thinking. But when I asked her what she'd been thinking about, she refused to tell me!
So needless to say, I didn't let that one go any further either!
I think I need to stop trying to look for someone for a while, the gods of fate seem to want to scupper everything! So i'll just carry on going to work, hitting the gym, riding my bike and spending time with my boy, and time will tell what happens next!
Stay funky, people!
