doctor

Wow, so between trying to find a perfect time to "announce" this, and living in the world of flesh, I have totally neglected my duties as an SG. And trust me, there is more sadness in my heart over this than I care to expand upon.

And while I've been contemplating the future, what my plans may be and where this strange life is trying to lead me, I've found it even harder to put my thoughts into words, and those words into action. So perhaps instead of digesting everything, I've been a bit recluse, not wanting to put on paper the intimate conflicts and my personal struggles and growth because then they become real, and a documented part of my history. Because my memory tends to fade more quickly than ink can dry.

But none the less my heart and spirit have remained true and intact durning this journey. And I have finally given in to the fact that this is my life, and I'm ok with it, actually I'm pretty fucking stoked on it.

So ya, for those of you who haven't heard, or still don't believe it, I'm pregnant, with only 8 weeks to go until I get to bring this amazing boy into the world.

So while I continue to drag on, I thought I would share the last year or so in BlackBerry photos.
























































































































As Hunter S. Thompson says "No sympathy for the devil; keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride...and if it occasionally gets a little heavier than what you had in mind, well...maybe chalk it off to forced conscious expansion: Tune in, freak out, get beaten."

So thats exactly what I'm going to do, take the ride, no matter how heavy or weird it gets. As I said earlier my heart and spirit haven't been broken, and I believe that where ever you are, is a directly influenced by the place of your heart. So keep your spirits high, and your body will follow.

And not to worry photo lovers of mine, I'm not walking away from modeling or SG any time soon. Now you wont ever see me submitting a pregnancy set, I'm still feeling as sexy as ever, so as a present to me Alissa is taking some photos of me next weekend, and I'm sure they will be amazing as ever. Ya, like you ever need to worry that self satisfaction I get thru modeling will ever die.

Speaking of self satisfaction I still have my American Cream set in MR, so I think with a little more love, and a little more frequent divulging on my part, we can get it on the front page where is so rightly belongs.

Well my loves, it's time to say goodbye for now. Hopefully I will be around more often, but between pregnancy, running a farm, designing & decorating a green nursery, and working on the re-release of my clothing company, and a new fashion blog, I hardly have even have time to do fleshy things..

And for all those who've been asking, here is my Wishlist <3

and I will leave you with the video I was watching when I first felt my son go crazy.



xoxo
Miss Doctor Suicide