DAMN I AM WACK!!!!!!!
I have come to accept this fact and I chose to wallow in my own wackness like a pig in his own filth. I don't care what anyone says. Especially since the main people that would like to label me wack are the ones who want to hangout with me the most. Maybe they just need someone to laugh at. Or maybe it's because I can buy alcohol. Whatever.
At any rate it will all wear off soon enough. I have this odd habit of completely recycling my group of friends every couple of years. Probably has to do with the fact that I was moved around a lot as a kid. Maybe this is why I don't get too close to people. Maybe this is why I'm more at ease around people I don't know that well. But that's really not what I want this entry top be about. Maybe some other time.
By the way "Who am I?" Sometimes I really have to stop and wonder what I'm all about. I mean I know what I want out of life and the type of person I want to be, but every now and then I get one of theose moments of clarity where I'm like "What the fuck am I doing here?" But I digress again, because that is still not what I want this entry to be about.
Still living out of the car, however I have given myself until the end of next week tro make a decision. Why can't I just pick a place to live dammit. Probably because I don't really think I'm ready to live alone. I'm afraid of what I might do to myself. Seriously. I need someone to check up on me every now and then. Make sure my body isn't rotting in a one bedroom apartment for three weeks before someone notices the smell.
So I made a last ditch effort to find a roomate, but if this doesn't work, I'm just gonna bite the bullet and get my own place. I guess it's kind of sad that I would be genuinely concerned that I could die and no one would notice, but these are the kind of friends that I currently have. If I don't call them, they don't call me. I need to fix that.
It kind of sucks for me when it comes to females too, because I have this rule you see. (Yes, I am Larry David and my enthusiam was curbed a long ass time ago.) Any female prospect will recieve a maximum of three phone calls without a deciding to call me on her own before I cut communication with her. Meaning if I've called you on three seperate occasions and you haven't taken the initiative to call me up sometime on your own. It's over.
Not to be mean, but I really don't want to turn into "that guy". I don't take hints very well (good ones or bad ones), so in order to avoid pestering a girl who is really not interested, I apply this rule. Which sucks because I've been told that a couple of girls who were kind of digging me got bummed because I didn't call them anymore. But I mean they can control there own destiny. Shivalry only goes so far these days.
What was this entry supposed to be about again?
Thanks to bravelittletoaster I am no longer self concious about writing too much in any one journal entry. Besides now that my computer is locked away in storage I can only update sporadically, so I have to get it all out when I have the opportunity.
Why don't any of my favorite suicide girls write in there journals? (and is this subconsciously why they are my favorites? I mean It might be cool for me to get a pink response in my journal one time. For some odd reason I think it might validate my being on the site. I mean I don't just want to be some anonymous voyeur or whatever. And why do I care?) Except for Al. She's like everyplace. The thing about her is she is so uber-cool, she makes me feel inferior and inadequete, which is probably an appropriate feeling when it comes to her. Plus she scares me a little bit. I'm not usually attracted to things I fear, but in this case I am thouroughly intrigued. At any rate I should probably stop writing about someone who doesn't know that I exist.
"What the fuck am I doing here again?"
Till next time I guess.
I have come to accept this fact and I chose to wallow in my own wackness like a pig in his own filth. I don't care what anyone says. Especially since the main people that would like to label me wack are the ones who want to hangout with me the most. Maybe they just need someone to laugh at. Or maybe it's because I can buy alcohol. Whatever.
At any rate it will all wear off soon enough. I have this odd habit of completely recycling my group of friends every couple of years. Probably has to do with the fact that I was moved around a lot as a kid. Maybe this is why I don't get too close to people. Maybe this is why I'm more at ease around people I don't know that well. But that's really not what I want this entry top be about. Maybe some other time.
By the way "Who am I?" Sometimes I really have to stop and wonder what I'm all about. I mean I know what I want out of life and the type of person I want to be, but every now and then I get one of theose moments of clarity where I'm like "What the fuck am I doing here?" But I digress again, because that is still not what I want this entry to be about.
Still living out of the car, however I have given myself until the end of next week tro make a decision. Why can't I just pick a place to live dammit. Probably because I don't really think I'm ready to live alone. I'm afraid of what I might do to myself. Seriously. I need someone to check up on me every now and then. Make sure my body isn't rotting in a one bedroom apartment for three weeks before someone notices the smell.
So I made a last ditch effort to find a roomate, but if this doesn't work, I'm just gonna bite the bullet and get my own place. I guess it's kind of sad that I would be genuinely concerned that I could die and no one would notice, but these are the kind of friends that I currently have. If I don't call them, they don't call me. I need to fix that.
It kind of sucks for me when it comes to females too, because I have this rule you see. (Yes, I am Larry David and my enthusiam was curbed a long ass time ago.) Any female prospect will recieve a maximum of three phone calls without a deciding to call me on her own before I cut communication with her. Meaning if I've called you on three seperate occasions and you haven't taken the initiative to call me up sometime on your own. It's over.
Not to be mean, but I really don't want to turn into "that guy". I don't take hints very well (good ones or bad ones), so in order to avoid pestering a girl who is really not interested, I apply this rule. Which sucks because I've been told that a couple of girls who were kind of digging me got bummed because I didn't call them anymore. But I mean they can control there own destiny. Shivalry only goes so far these days.
What was this entry supposed to be about again?
Thanks to bravelittletoaster I am no longer self concious about writing too much in any one journal entry. Besides now that my computer is locked away in storage I can only update sporadically, so I have to get it all out when I have the opportunity.
Why don't any of my favorite suicide girls write in there journals? (and is this subconsciously why they are my favorites? I mean It might be cool for me to get a pink response in my journal one time. For some odd reason I think it might validate my being on the site. I mean I don't just want to be some anonymous voyeur or whatever. And why do I care?) Except for Al. She's like everyplace. The thing about her is she is so uber-cool, she makes me feel inferior and inadequete, which is probably an appropriate feeling when it comes to her. Plus she scares me a little bit. I'm not usually attracted to things I fear, but in this case I am thouroughly intrigued. At any rate I should probably stop writing about someone who doesn't know that I exist.
"What the fuck am I doing here again?"
Till next time I guess.
id actually like to get my friends legbone out to toledo sometime too. and lemme know of any bands u know who might want to come out & play the troy / dayton area.
but lemme know if yr gonna make it out so we can meet in person. later man.