docsparrow

Well its been like 4 days i guess since i have talked to my lili which i think is probobly the longest i have ever not talk to her in 2 years. I miss her so much. For the past 2 years i have filled my free time and mindless work time of thoughts of my baby and it would get me through my shitty days and i always had the reward of time with the boo when i got off work.

Now when i am walking back and forth through yards doing my fuckin job i am just sad today i fuckin teared up thank god i wear sunglasses or i would never have heard the end of that shit. I have nothing to look forward to when i get home. The last 4 days i have come home eaten dinner taken a shower wrote a down a few words here and then go to bed. I dont even talk to anyone in chat. ALL I THINK ABOUT IS HER ALL FUCKIN DAY LONG.

I get in bed at like 730-8 everynight and i dont fall asleep until like 10 or 11 cause i just fuckin think and beat myself to death thinking about her. SHe is all that really matters in my life she is all that really has mattered to me. SHe has done more for me in 2 years than most people have done for me my entire life

I MISS MY FUCKIN BABY SO BAD RIGHT NOW

Well i guess i am gonna go take a shower and go to sleep maybe i will dream of my baby. I miss my SB to but i dont think the SB will ever forgive me for what i have done. I dont think anyone will ever forgive me. i know that i will never forgive myself