just a quick note
well, things kinda backfired on me and not only that, this has been the worst leave overall ever. im gonna find myself back in debt soon if i dont watch it. all of the things gone wrong really has me worried. i think i might have to get back on meds soon. i hate it when issues linger over my head and i can't handle them. here's a update on all the storylines: (see more at my myspace page)
Me and L. (a hometown girl) broke up, (this was while back) but i realized i was the dummy for saying such rude things. we are ok friends, but i dont know if i can or she will want to repair all the damage. I said some stupid things in trying to get a point across. i care about her, but i dont love her. i just was going through the motions
now the girl (A.) i tried to get out of my life that pissed me off and broke me and made me a fool are on good terms. i will not ever date that girl ever again. friends....thats it. she has enough problems, and besides, she has a new guy and is happy. i am happy for her.
I have met a few other ladies i'd like to meet, both from arkansas,(one is perfectly beautiful...she (S.) knows who she is. very special...) but my job and lifestyle wont allow them to ever happen. my life is simply on hold. if i can get my monitary issues worked out ever, i'll be ok. i need 2 things pretty bad right now, to be back on SSRI's and to get into shape. i am so scared of showing up to fort sill overweight. i dont have niether the motivation or the workout partner to help me. i feel so alone in the battalion i am in. i aint suicidal, just kinda down. when i get back, its gonna be mad crazy for a few weeks as we move and get ready for training and so on.
my life is one of servitude. i have always and will always be a servant in one way shape or form. its my purpose in life. i just have to find out where i fit in. finding that can be so hard. i wish i had my best friend who died about 8 years ago. i wish i could talk to him or maybe jesus. some times, you just need guidance.
so, here i am. if i hadn't wigged out i would still be happy and having a great love life and tearing shit up. i got the tattoo, i always wanted, but i spent to much in the process, screwing up other plans i had. i wrecked my moms car and its gonna cost alot. i know things arent really as bad as they feel and that it all could be worse, but it does suck. i mean, i have a house, a child that loves me, a laptop, health...i have so much, but it doesnt feel like it. i need to find myself. something....anything.
well, things kinda backfired on me and not only that, this has been the worst leave overall ever. im gonna find myself back in debt soon if i dont watch it. all of the things gone wrong really has me worried. i think i might have to get back on meds soon. i hate it when issues linger over my head and i can't handle them. here's a update on all the storylines: (see more at my myspace page)
Me and L. (a hometown girl) broke up, (this was while back) but i realized i was the dummy for saying such rude things. we are ok friends, but i dont know if i can or she will want to repair all the damage. I said some stupid things in trying to get a point across. i care about her, but i dont love her. i just was going through the motions
now the girl (A.) i tried to get out of my life that pissed me off and broke me and made me a fool are on good terms. i will not ever date that girl ever again. friends....thats it. she has enough problems, and besides, she has a new guy and is happy. i am happy for her.
I have met a few other ladies i'd like to meet, both from arkansas,(one is perfectly beautiful...she (S.) knows who she is. very special...) but my job and lifestyle wont allow them to ever happen. my life is simply on hold. if i can get my monitary issues worked out ever, i'll be ok. i need 2 things pretty bad right now, to be back on SSRI's and to get into shape. i am so scared of showing up to fort sill overweight. i dont have niether the motivation or the workout partner to help me. i feel so alone in the battalion i am in. i aint suicidal, just kinda down. when i get back, its gonna be mad crazy for a few weeks as we move and get ready for training and so on.
my life is one of servitude. i have always and will always be a servant in one way shape or form. its my purpose in life. i just have to find out where i fit in. finding that can be so hard. i wish i had my best friend who died about 8 years ago. i wish i could talk to him or maybe jesus. some times, you just need guidance.
so, here i am. if i hadn't wigged out i would still be happy and having a great love life and tearing shit up. i got the tattoo, i always wanted, but i spent to much in the process, screwing up other plans i had. i wrecked my moms car and its gonna cost alot. i know things arent really as bad as they feel and that it all could be worse, but it does suck. i mean, i have a house, a child that loves me, a laptop, health...i have so much, but it doesnt feel like it. i need to find myself. something....anything.
doc_brietz:
i hate people who are rude behind a computer. i go into a chat room and everyone wants to be a dick. i am a decent guy and i dont need that shit ever. some folks have alot of nerve.