dobler

my uncle drove me to the airport in vegas when i left and i was SUPER bummed. like holding back your tears and hurting your throat you wanna cry so hard kind of bummed. hugging him breaks my heart. thinking about his face and voice just make me want to cry right now.

me: "i wanna move here"
uncle: "you know you can come live with me and your aunt any time you want"
me: "i have too much debt"
uncle: "that shut don't follow you over the border"

probably very untrue...but i love my uncle so much for saying it. i wish i could be like him. move to california at 23 with nothing but the clothes on your back and the shoes on your feet. now he's made a good life for himself, married a great woman and has three amazing kids.

there are so many excuses i make for not getting out of here, out of my comfort zone. i know i'm an impulsive person and if given the right opportunities i'd definitely take them. there is nothing really holding me here accept the promise of things i imagine will happen in the future. like being in a serious relationship, getting a really good job, finally paying off my debt, whatever.


most things are NEVER as good as they seem. so when i'm watching the waitresses in vegas swing from the big tires over the bar i bet their lives aren't as amazing as i imagine. or maybe they are.

when i watch really cute boys skateboard up and down venice beach without a care in the world i wonder........do they have a care in the world? maybe they do, maybe they really DON'T. and maybe life could actually be that good.

maybe i'm just a daydreamer who will never do what she really wants........because i don't even know what that is, actually.


the new jay-z = yes.

i'm also a part of a gang who wear bomber jackets now, soo...