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dncswthangls

someplace in CT

Member Since 2009

Followers 88 Following 104

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Tuesday May 05, 2009

May 5, 2009
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Hmmm.

I should probably just admit this and get it over with...

Posting pictures on here is exceptionally difficult for me. I guess you could say I'm using SG as a theraputic way to move past my body-image issues. So the comments you all leave me really are appreciated--more than you might think--though I still doubt the sincerity of some of them at times, NOT because of the person commenting, but because of my own self-doubt. I am a perfectionist after all, and when I do not see perfection in myself, I feel like anything less is--well--undesireable at best, disgusting and/or worthless at worst.

I blame the media wink

I don't want pity or anything of the sort; that's not why I'm saying this. It's just that a few of you already know some of this, and a few others seem to suspect as much, so I figure I'd just come right out and say it plainly.

I'm not trying to hid anything, just grow as a person and move beyond it. It's limiting and obsurd to care so much about unreached "perfection."

There is much I understand intellectually, but even with all of that it's difficult to convince my emotion and insecurity. I fight with my illogical side constantly. I'm stubborn at times, which is rather frustrating smile

So, I'm actively trying to work on it. Obviously, or I wouldn't even be posting anything on here. Many of the images I have put up I actually dislike greatly...

Anyway, enough of this. Sorry to bother you with it; just wanted the curious ones to know up front.

Thanks everyone for your support and kindnesses. I cannot express my gratitude.

<3
VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
dan2468:

Hun, you're absolutely right the media does do so many shitty things to everyone's self image, but you are gorgeous, and I'm glad you found SG !

May 7, 2009
beno0414:
You are a beautiful woman.

I understand how you feel. My wonderful wife has the same kind of issues about her body and to she is so beautiful and sexy. The media's focus on a woman's figure and what is considered sexy / beautiful is so skewed. It makes for low self esteem which is something that angers me.

Glad you have found an outlet through suicide

Have a good evening

Ben
May 7, 2009

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