dmumms

ya today sucked.. my dad died tonight at around 10:20. he died right in front of me with 10 paramedics in my house trying to revive him.. i was the last person to see him alive. this all happened when i got out of work. i dont know what to feel and theres so much to figure out. i just really love my bothers for being there for me. without them i would of lost it. i think i have. i know this is a shity entry.

i feel like i cant sleep, and i havent cried yet... maybe it hasent hit home yet. his wishes were to be creamated and were gonna fall through on those wishes. everyone this whole next week is just gonna look at me like im gonna break and im not going to... at least not in front of people.. i just wish i could go see a concert right now and flip the fuck out or get a huge tatt on my back or do somthng... im so idle right now... well im sure after all this shit ill be happier.. best wishes to all!!!!!! live life