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dksoul

Copenhagen and Minneapolis

Member Since 2004

Followers 2 Following 6

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Tuesday Jan 25, 2005

Jan 24, 2005
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Hello,
I am going to paint all day. Man, I haven't done that for a year. Also, I am still so magically impressed by how, hu-hum, you know what is turning out. Thank you g-man.

Later.

Hello,
It is like 7:42 P.M. according to the laws of time. I am waiting for the first layer of my oil painting to dry. I feel I am stuck in a repetitive cycle because for God's sakes I always listen to the ame goddamn cds and shit. I feel so fucking insecure still and fucking ugly. I don't know how to express it because this only happens when I start doing fucking art again and I get all pissed off at myself and shit. Motherfucking A. All I can do is type and piss and moan about shit I'm not even thinking about cuz I have no life. My old one died and I had to start a new one from scratch and I now I am so maladjused and I'm starting to worry. At least I moved out and I don't have a small penis anymore. *Cries* I'm...eek, what I'm saying is that I like to trype drivel nonsense instead of paint. Goddamn, I am a really fucking good painter. Well, not really, but I was in the same art class as Roby. Now, she is good, very goddamn good. All I can say is I have lost everything. Everything in the whole world that was promised to me. I am nothing. Absolutely nothing. I see no roads ahead. Haha, I'm getting depressed over nothing. But, this is what my journal entries are like. Haha, you would be this way too if you saw what I did. Not. No, but, I have my own place, what am I shitting and complaining about. Woohoo, I feel so goddamn at ease now for some reason. I don't take antidepressants anymore and that has changed my artwork so much. It has made me lazy and not want to do art because I always see the bigger picture and not just the tiny details. So, in otherwords my head's in the clouds most of the time. I...can't explain yo. It is just hard. Fucking hard to start anew. Like, I don't know what to do until my roommate gets home. I just like to type. I find lot's of shit sad right now. I just need to discover...shit. What the fuck.
kinkerbelle:
hi.
Jan 25, 2005
meeks:
hey, how's it going? My mom is an artist, she works in oils too... ever since I was a kid I've always had that smell around....I think I've developed some sort of strange chemical dependancy on it

oh ya...I was just wondering how you knew me?

good luck with you art! Personally, I choose to get fucked up over classical piano...it makes me very broody
Jan 27, 2005

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