Hello,
Gawdamn it's already 1 o'clock! Shit, I always fuck up my days off from work. Oh well, I must write an important journal entry here in order for the redemption of my fateful foreskin to be complete. Being uncircumcised has made me desire the flesh and made masturbating a ritual, daily occurence. Having a foreskin that won't retract makes you look like you have a small dick, and it looks ugly, and it smells cuz you can't clean it, and it's just all around an unpleasant thing to have. Solution: circumcision? Alas, no. I was never to be circumcised. I would have to live with this fate up until one point, I became so frustrated that I would try, despite all the pain, to pull the opening of the skin past the head of the penis. Thus, my foreskin swelled up for a long time. It has been almost a year since that day. Well, the exact date was January 27, 2004 and I was in Denmark at the time, laying in my grandmother's bed which she let me sleep on. Yes...this discovery would lead to new paths of wisdom and of course open up an entirely new world for me. For at one point, I had been so depressed about the situation, I wanted to die. I had always been depressed about this actually, from the very first time a girl sucked my dick and told all of her friends at a New Year's Eve party. From that point on, my Life went to shit when it comes to women. Yes, I'm a virgin. I know, it's pathetic. How can there be anyone out there like me? Well there are others. In fact, there's an entire website devoted to the "late discovery" of retracting our foreskins. Yes, it's a bitch when Nature won't take her proper course and allow such processes to occur quicker, but such is the lot of the uncircumcised. Truthfully though, I would rather be intact than missing something. Yes, I would rather be different. Why? Because I'm intelligent and suffering is just a game I like to play. Down the road of self-destruction you can find yourself. It's unfortunate that that's the road one must take sometimes, in order to learn the Truth. Now I'm just blabbing, but...I haven't really been focused, you see, since this all occured, as in the healing process has taken quite some time. So, where do I go now that my penis is fully functional? Well, there are several options...one would be to take things as they come and not let the bad times get ya down. Another, would be to go back to school and shine in Academics. Yet another, would be to join a cult and go live in the middle of nowhere. I don't know, I just know that now is the time to make myself. I'm glad I don't watch televsion, or else I would be totally confused and unaware of what Life really is. I am glad that I have upheld my beliefs in the natural healing process through the aid of, say, frankincense and other fine purely diluted oil. I don't care what people think of me anymore, especially my Dad. I do not care to put up with his bullshit. I'm finally free from living with my parents (i.e. Hell). I thought my only shot would be in Europe, but I'm glad things worked out back here at home. I know my mind has been damaged from all of this overthinking, but I feel now that I'm finally where all the pieces can fit now. Perhaps, it is the weed talking, and I know I tried to swear it off, but...well...you know...perhaps, that is Nature's little aid as well. Everyone must figure out for themselves, what it is, that they were created to do. Maybe now though, I've run out of words to say. I might be a late bloomer, but I'm certainly not gay. And all those years I waste, because you like to live a lie, it doesn't mean that I want you to die. No no. I just, we'll part our ways. Like with my old friends before, now things must change again. Mmmm. And I will finally be complete. Free from all of this shit, that has been between us, you and me, for now, but hopefully not in eternity. You can find your way too, I know, perhaps if you were just there to show. I dunno.
Gawdamn it's already 1 o'clock! Shit, I always fuck up my days off from work. Oh well, I must write an important journal entry here in order for the redemption of my fateful foreskin to be complete. Being uncircumcised has made me desire the flesh and made masturbating a ritual, daily occurence. Having a foreskin that won't retract makes you look like you have a small dick, and it looks ugly, and it smells cuz you can't clean it, and it's just all around an unpleasant thing to have. Solution: circumcision? Alas, no. I was never to be circumcised. I would have to live with this fate up until one point, I became so frustrated that I would try, despite all the pain, to pull the opening of the skin past the head of the penis. Thus, my foreskin swelled up for a long time. It has been almost a year since that day. Well, the exact date was January 27, 2004 and I was in Denmark at the time, laying in my grandmother's bed which she let me sleep on. Yes...this discovery would lead to new paths of wisdom and of course open up an entirely new world for me. For at one point, I had been so depressed about the situation, I wanted to die. I had always been depressed about this actually, from the very first time a girl sucked my dick and told all of her friends at a New Year's Eve party. From that point on, my Life went to shit when it comes to women. Yes, I'm a virgin. I know, it's pathetic. How can there be anyone out there like me? Well there are others. In fact, there's an entire website devoted to the "late discovery" of retracting our foreskins. Yes, it's a bitch when Nature won't take her proper course and allow such processes to occur quicker, but such is the lot of the uncircumcised. Truthfully though, I would rather be intact than missing something. Yes, I would rather be different. Why? Because I'm intelligent and suffering is just a game I like to play. Down the road of self-destruction you can find yourself. It's unfortunate that that's the road one must take sometimes, in order to learn the Truth. Now I'm just blabbing, but...I haven't really been focused, you see, since this all occured, as in the healing process has taken quite some time. So, where do I go now that my penis is fully functional? Well, there are several options...one would be to take things as they come and not let the bad times get ya down. Another, would be to go back to school and shine in Academics. Yet another, would be to join a cult and go live in the middle of nowhere. I don't know, I just know that now is the time to make myself. I'm glad I don't watch televsion, or else I would be totally confused and unaware of what Life really is. I am glad that I have upheld my beliefs in the natural healing process through the aid of, say, frankincense and other fine purely diluted oil. I don't care what people think of me anymore, especially my Dad. I do not care to put up with his bullshit. I'm finally free from living with my parents (i.e. Hell). I thought my only shot would be in Europe, but I'm glad things worked out back here at home. I know my mind has been damaged from all of this overthinking, but I feel now that I'm finally where all the pieces can fit now. Perhaps, it is the weed talking, and I know I tried to swear it off, but...well...you know...perhaps, that is Nature's little aid as well. Everyone must figure out for themselves, what it is, that they were created to do. Maybe now though, I've run out of words to say. I might be a late bloomer, but I'm certainly not gay. And all those years I waste, because you like to live a lie, it doesn't mean that I want you to die. No no. I just, we'll part our ways. Like with my old friends before, now things must change again. Mmmm. And I will finally be complete. Free from all of this shit, that has been between us, you and me, for now, but hopefully not in eternity. You can find your way too, I know, perhaps if you were just there to show. I dunno.