I can be a real ass sometimes.. I accept that as part of my personality, but I do try to avoid it whenever possible.. I think most times I ends up becoming a defense mechanism.. Like for example if I am angry at someone, I am notorious for being passive aggressive, being a jerk, and not outright angry.. I think it's a way for me to not get hurt.. or a way to think I won't get hurt.. to push people away, to make sure they know I'm an ass, but at the same time, you just end up hurting whoever it is you'r talking to. And the last thing I normally like doing is hurting people, even if I do currently hate them.. or WISHED I hated them. so inevitably, there is no way around it. I cope with rejection, meanness and anger by being a loser, and that sucks, but I guess it works for me.. It's better than hitting someone or.. yelling at the top of your lungs, isn't it? I dunno.. maybe I should just be more adult and work out my problems with people in a more civilized manner, but honestly, what sort of fun is that? I mean come on..
