So, recently, I met a new girl. She's freaking amazing. First 2 outings went very well, and, I felt I should just be straight up and tell her how I felt, so, this past Monday, I messaged her, and let her know I'd like to pursue her as more than a friend. We continued chatting back and forth through the week, and I didn't bring it up again, knowing she was considering still. On Thursday, unfortunately, she gave a response, but not the one I'd been hoping for. Her term was "Does't feel at peace" as more than friends.
So, I over-analysed the situation 300 times, and I've 3 theories:
1.She isn't looking for a relationship other than friends, whether with me, or in general
2.My current financial situation is less than desirable
3.She's Christian and I'm not
She knows my current financial situation, as she has a home business which is running a challenge for June, and asked if I'd like to participate, I said I'd love to, both to help her out, and for myself as well, but, there's a large start-up, which I said I couldn't cover till I got paid. Also, I don't actively have a car on the road, because, cars are expensive. I own one, but it's from out of province and won't pass a safety check to get it certified in this province for less than $1000, so, living in the city, I just bus everywhere. Takes longer, limited time-tables, and, useless for out of town.
So, I need to work on my finances, and hope I can stay friends with her long enough to make the changes I'm able too, then re-approach the topic, if it's still going well.
So, my new plan of action, Find a freaking room mate that I can actually stand, to reduce my rent by half. And, either sell or certify my car, in the case of selling, replace it with something. Also considering a part-time job, but, my main job is construction, and the site I'm on will finish in the next 8 weeks or less, so, I don't want to get a job, then find out I won't be able to make it due to the next site's location, so, that plan is on hold. Other than that, I'm going to cut back on my drinking, not that I'm a huge drinker, only go out once a week with the guys after work, but, that one night tends to run upwards of $60+ weekly, so, going to reduce that.
Also working on my fitness as a previous post stated, try to lose a bit of fluff so when I take off my shirt, I don't feel even a bit self conscience... Which also ties in with the June Challenge, which is a healthy eating challenge, through Arbonne, so, purchase their protein powders, and other assorted supplements, along with eating a healthy diet, and a cleanse/purge towards the end of the month. After looking at their meal-plans, other than the actual Arbonne products themselves, it's basically a Paleo diet with a couple of adjustments. So, since I've already started reducing a lot of the junk foods, this shouldn't be nearly so hard. But, I'll have to watch my portion control, since I make most of the recipes as they're stated, which is for a family of 4 typically, and then I eat the whole damn thing in one sitting.... So, hopefully with the support group and of course this specific crush, I'll actually get myself to follow the plan, and hopefully it'll just be a habit by the end.
Otherwise...
I'm doing amazing, getting hotter out so i'll be able to do more outside, become less of a damned hermit, as I stay mostly in the house on the computer for a lack of something better to do... So, now I'll be able to work in the garage, maybe finish some projects I dreamed up but have yet to start, maybe just bake in the sun and go for runs..... who knows, but, I'm trying to do better, for myself, because even if it turns out I never have a chance with her, this road to self improvement will only benefit all current and future relationships.
Any tips/advice/other, let me know, I'm happy to have feedback regardless of content, if I don't agree with it, lets have a freaking argument!!! THIS IS SPAR....THE INTERNET!!!!!
