djdavidjett

If the Republicans win, I'm through with society!

(just a quick note for you new readers of this blog. I joke a lot. It's not so much a personal blog as it is a humor and/or music blog. Just letting you know...)

I was surprised the first time George W. Bush was elected president. (well, actually he wasn't, but you know...) I was even more surprised that he got elected for a second term. Were there that many idiots in this country? Answer: yes. Eight years of this shit!

Surely people want a change. Right? Most people? Can we get it done? (notice I didn't say "Get'er dun!")

Anywho, if the Democrats don't win the current election, well, I think I'm done with this country. At least as far as it being a civilized society. No, I'm not moving out of the country (unless I win the Powerball, then all bets are off.) I'm just saying I will no longer take part in a society that would elect someone like Sarah Palin to a high office. I will still go to work, of course. And I won't do anything illegal like blowing shit up or not paying taxes. Well, then, how exactly will I distance myself from society? First of all, general politeness is taking a header. Hey, you never know when you might accidentally be nice to someone who voted for McCain/Palin. So, here are the top ten ways I would take out my anger if the Republicans win:

1. I will no longer hold the door open for anyone. Fuck you; open your own door. I don't give a shit if you're in a wheelchair. You're on your own in David Jett's societal collapse.

2. I will no longer let anyone out of a parking lot. No "turning ahead of me." You can wait all damn day before I'll yield to you. Try not to make a left turn onto a busy street next time.

3. If you come into my cd store and ask for any redneck country artist like Toby Keith or Hank Williams Jr. (Hank the Original and Hank the Third are ok,) I will roll my eyes at you like you just asked for gay midget porn. I will also treat you the same way if you ask for Phish or Widespread Panic cd's. Hey, let's face it, potheads don't want a Republican president, but if you're too lazy to quit your hackeysack game for an hour so you can vote, well...

4. I will no longer pay for abortions for women I impregnate.

5. Also, I will no longer spring for appetizers during a dinner after which there is a good chance you will get impregnated.

6. I will no longer Tivo the show "Grey's Anatomy." This one really has nothing to do with politics, but haven't they all fucked each other already? Just saying.

7. I will forever leave my garbage can/plastic-thingee on the curb. It's never coming back any closer to the house. And you can forget about recycling. If Obama can't stop the Republicans, then maybe total world devastation brought on by global warming can.

8. I'll keep any book I check out from the library and end up really liking. Especially if it's out of print or has pictures of naked chicks in it.

9. If I'm ever on jury duty again, and actually get on a trial, that person is going to jail. Whether they are guilty or innocent. Case closed. Don't drop the soap.

10. I will start going to various local churches, of various denominations, with the sole purpose of fucking someone. Hopefully, someone's mom. This is what is termed as "pew fuckin'."

Don't let this shit be on your shoulders! Vote for Obama or I won't have a choice! I tried to warn you people...