i've been thinking.
good - you say.
1) i love my job, but i get really saddened by the restrictions i face. no pink hair, no facial piercings, no visible tattoos. fuck them. but if i quit and did something else, like my husband wants to open a hair salon/boutique and i could help him run it, which would be awesome
but then i wouldn't have the science i crave. i've always been very conflicted between art and science. well, i guess conflicted isn't the right word, i just love them both. and eveyr time i've tried to focus on one to the exclusion of the other, i get depressed.
2) i think i have decided on my next tattoo - i want a cherry tree w. the trunk running down my right side and branches branching off both across my chest and back w/ birds and bugs flitting through the flowers.
3) when i was y ounger i was quite the introverted wallflower. no matter what i was thinking or wanted to say i always kep t my mouth shut. i often hated myself for it b/c i felt invisible, even to my friends and family sometimes. well, recently i've started coming out of my shell, and, dammit, sometimes i just wish i could keep my big mouth shut!
the thing is i still talk like a teenager - especially when i'm in the presence of someone i really admiire/have a crush on. i say the most ridiculous things, act like a total spaz and then spend the next week analyzing what i said, why it was wrong andn what i should have said instead. which means i'm constantly living either in the past or the future, but never the present. 
another thing to add to my list of things a/b myself i would change if i could.
goodnight sg-ers. sweet dreams and i'll see you tomorrow.
i can't wait for the new girl - this week has been so exciting
good - you say.
1) i love my job, but i get really saddened by the restrictions i face. no pink hair, no facial piercings, no visible tattoos. fuck them. but if i quit and did something else, like my husband wants to open a hair salon/boutique and i could help him run it, which would be awesome
but then i wouldn't have the science i crave. i've always been very conflicted between art and science. well, i guess conflicted isn't the right word, i just love them both. and eveyr time i've tried to focus on one to the exclusion of the other, i get depressed.
2) i think i have decided on my next tattoo - i want a cherry tree w. the trunk running down my right side and branches branching off both across my chest and back w/ birds and bugs flitting through the flowers.
3) when i was y ounger i was quite the introverted wallflower. no matter what i was thinking or wanted to say i always kep t my mouth shut. i often hated myself for it b/c i felt invisible, even to my friends and family sometimes. well, recently i've started coming out of my shell, and, dammit, sometimes i just wish i could keep my big mouth shut!
the thing is i still talk like a teenager - especially when i'm in the presence of someone i really admiire/have a crush on. i say the most ridiculous things, act like a total spaz and then spend the next week analyzing what i said, why it was wrong andn what i should have said instead. which means i'm constantly living either in the past or the future, but never the present. another thing to add to my list of things a/b myself i would change if i could.
goodnight sg-ers. sweet dreams and i'll see you tomorrow.
i can't wait for the new girl - this week has been so exciting
alyssum:
I totally empathize with you on both of these things! I used to work as a florist, now I work as a researcher for a software company. It's rather imbalanced, I alway feel like I lack one or the other. And I'm just starting to come out of my shell as well, and I'm always finding myself (especially on Saturday and Sunday mornings) going over and over again what I'd said the night before, wishing I could take it back. It's a difficult line to tread between invisibility and feeling like I'm making an ass of myself.