djbq

i have insomnia like never before.
i don't think i've gotten more than 5 hrs of sleep a night for at least a month.
and that's not continuous hrs.
no matter how tired i am i can't fall asleep before a/b midnight or 12:30. then i wake up, wide awake, between 2 and 3:30 every morning.
then i'm awake for 1-1 1/2 hrs. then i fall back asleep and get up at 5:30.
and i sleep w/ my teeth clenched and my hands balled into fists. my back and neck and shoulders hurt all the time and my wrists and elbows and forarms ache too.
i hate taking medicine, even for headaches and stuff. but last night i decided i just had to do something. so i drank some sleepytime extra tea - it has valeria in it. it definitely relaxed me, my muscles didn't ache, but i still woke up every few hrs, and i had to pee.
i also bought some melatonin, but i'm afraid to take it b/c i've heard it can give you really bad nightmares, and i have really bad nightmares anyway.
but i think i'm going to try it tonight anyway. i guess the worst that can happen is i'll have nightmares and stop taking it.
then i don't know what i'll do.

anyway, on a happier note, i'm going on vacation on saturday!
i'm pretty much counting on vacation to cure my insomnia by curing my stress.
we're spending 3 days in d.c. w/ skyy - i can't WAIT to see her. we haven't seen each other since march in vegas - she couldn't come out for the bjork show.
then we're going to the outter banks to see my family. and it's going to be a LOT of family. i kinda wasn't counting on that. but it'll be good to see some people that i haven't seen in years and years.
and my sister and her husband and the baby will be there!
ah, the beach.
and then skyy is coming out here for 10 days - to see her sister and hang out w/ me! i may not let her leave.

vega