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djbq

Canton, NY

Member Since 2002

Followers 19 Following 12

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Friday May 16, 2003

May 16, 2003
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so, my husband left today to visit a friend in nebraska. it's a noble cause - this is a long-time CO resident who couldn't find work after lawschool so went to omaha. he's not lovin it. so, hubby goes out for some drinkin and golf. i can't go b/c - well, heavy drinkin and golf just aren't my thing, and i have to work on sundays.
now, hub doesn't have a job that causes him to travel much, so we don't spend a lot of time apart.
and if you noticed in my stats i am listed as a worrier.
as in worry-er.
not warrior.
i don't do well home alone overnight.
it's bad enough that i can't feed myself.
it's not that i can't cook. i just don't see the point for just one person. so i tend to live off chips and salsa, frozen waffles, jellybeans, maybe a can of soup.
but i simply cannot sleep.
i make sure the doors are locked, but i invariable hear things while i'm in the shower, have to get out all soapy and grab the closest thing i have to a weapon - my pinking shears - and stalk downstairs to discover that both doors ARE locked . . . but then i wonder, did i lock them? or did some homicidal maniac sneak in and then lock the door behind him - locking me in her with him?!!
so i have to check all the rooms - and this is VERY nerve racking - to turn on offed lights and open closed doors on dark closets and peack behind shower curtains and under beds.
and then i finish my shower and get in bed, pinking shears and phone on hub's empty pillow, knowing full well that my beloved pooch would make nary a noise should anyone enter the house - would probably wag his butt and look adorable in a "come rape my mom" kind of way.
and i lie there in bed and imagine - in the MOST exacting detail - the most horrible things in the world happenin:
the phone call from a nebraska state trooper telling me hub got in a horrible car accident and is dead in a nebraska morgue, too mangled for an open-casket funeral.
my alchoholic sister drinking and driving and killing herself or someone else. or getting back into an even worse abusive relationship.
my pregnant sister losing her baby.
my 73 year old father being diagnosed w/ cancer or dropping dead of a heart attack before he gets to see his first grandchild.
not to mention images of myself being raped and murdered by some schizophrenic off his medication who wanders into my house by accident (i watch a lot of law and order . . .)
anyway - long story short - this is not going to be a restful weekend.
if i'm not lying in bed crying over not being able to tell my in-laws their son is dead b/c i don't speak good enough chinese, then i ward off the night terrors by staying up all night watching awful tv.
luckily we now have a dvd player and some decend dvds, so if worst comes to worst, instead of watching nads and oyclean infomercials, i can watch the muppets in space and beastie boys videos.
so, bare w/ me if i'm a little neurotic and edgy and check in every couple hours.
it's just good to know people are out there -
and posting is quieter and less disturbing than calling people at 3 am -
i hate to be a bother! frown
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
_v_:
i lived in the giant scarey well scarey at night house
with three other people. we all had weird schedules so there were times with me just there alone in the dark. it was spooky and when we moved in there was a sign on the door to the attic steps saying no one enter, even you - enter the ghosts name here. it was weird. it was in this little mountain town called Asheville. very spooky.
you should check out the movie. it is kinda old. Rene Zelwheger is in it. it is kinda koukie.
well drop me a line
and pull out that crazy camera
show me your hood
May 17, 2003
quest36833:
No and get this, I probably just jinxed myself, but yesterday and today, I have had my windows open, and I havent seen a one.
My building is over a 100 years old too, and my screens have holes in them, but as I said, Ill probably have them tonight..LOL
May 17, 2003

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