dj_grrr

the dj thing seems to be the only thing where im getting what ive worked for..last night at my dj event i got asked to do a charity for cancer..which would have news coverage from 2 different tv stations..givin itll probably be like 5 minutes of coverage but if i can get my dj name mentioned on the news,i cant really complain..i have no problem working at a big name bar..we need the exposure..i would either be me,or me and one of the djs that works under me..jin~xs. and i still have the _classified_ event to look foward to..both of these are BIG breaks for me...and dj sarah vain seems to think very highly of my dj abilities,which is why shes been helping me so much..its nice to have that kind of support..she knows a great deal of important people in indy,and shes been in the goth/industrial/punk dj scene for about 10 yrs..so starting next month things are looking good..everything else tho isnt..

my female friend is just being friends with everyone right now..so im cut off shes too afraid im getting attatched..i told her it wasnt an issue,but shes not listining.givin i am an oversensitive overemotional bastardo...i generally just feel too much..but i need love and affection in my life..it is my strength..and i hate sleeping alone..frankly i need that almost more than sex..it sounds stupid but its nice to have someone to cuddle next to once in a while....its the little things that help...so thats next,need to find some companionship or find a good woman one or the other..and stop this debauchery shit..i love indy for the fact that all i have to say is dj,and i gets numbers.not to mention that i actually mix,which most "djs" dont do in indy..and nate had to explain to me that the reason its easier for me than him is im appaerently whats called a pretty boy..getthat my friend called me a pretty boy i may be a little metro attimes but seriously..thats almost insulting...owell..so yeah next goal..im callin up some of my safe female friends to help me get some other female friends...and what people dont know wont hurt em...i need some luvin dammit.