Hello SG loves 😘
I’ll start things off with a question: How do you persevere in moments of turbulence?
I am sorry for my lack of ineraction in threads and on the site recently. As I mentioned in my previous blog (just over a week ago) I have been spread very thin. I’m actually sitting here in my bedroom, with my door ajar praying that my toddler doesn’t bust in here so I can continue to enjoy this small amount of time to myself.
Don’t get me wrong, my sassy two year old is the light of my life. My partner makes me very happy. My work life is fulfilling. I am super grateful to have my own home with food, electricity, running water, and warmth. I know that I am fortunate to have this life.
As I write this, I am holding back tears. Though I am ashamed to say it, I am just SO damn TIRED. It’s been taking a heavy toll on me lately — physically and mentally. Being active on social sites is becoming more and more difficult. As much as I want to get dolled up to take photos and post blogs; most days I have my hair thrown into a mom bun and I’m lucky if I remember to grab my keys before I run out the door. Then I return home and cook, clean, tend to my baby and fiancé, and take care of the pets... God forbid I want to work some exercise or meditation time or even a BATH by myself into this routine — the whole universe might explode.
On top of my busy personal life, I have very severe nerve damage from child birth. I’ll spare you the details, but I have either burning pain or pins and needles 100% of the time in many areas of my body. As I’ve lived with this for close to three years now, I’ve grown accustomed to the feeling. Most days I can bare it and embrace it as my normalcy. While I can accept the state of constant discomfort, some days I am in so much pain I just wish I could be alone in a fluffy bed or bubble bath until it subsides.... Nevertheless, that is not an option.
Because of my days being so full, I have fallen off track with health and fitness. This has taken a significant toll on my mentality towards insecurities. I’ve always been obsessive about my figure, and since becoming a mother my body has been fluctuating in ways I feel like I can’t control. Lately, I’ve found that I tear myself down and focus on what I see to be flaws rather than celebrate the divine female I should recognize myself as.
Anyway, this has turned into quite the ramble of text vomit and whining. If you have made it to the end, I appreciate you greatly. Thank you for sticking with me ❤️❤️ I am doing my best to remain active in this community, as I thoroughly enjoy it here and appreciate the love and support from all of you.
Hopefully my next post will be more uplifting. Until then, any positivity is welcome and very much obliged!
Warmly,
Pixen
