Finally going to name one.
Cynical; Am I Cared For?
__
held captive by prying eyes,
singular staring demise
blistering, searing, hate.
i wanted a reason to evolve
evolve past this vicious
misbetrayal of honor.
virtue is the act of an act.
where is your play?
virtue is not inherent,
as you proudly display.
can't set things right,
if you never
wanted it that way....
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Cynical; Am I Cared For?
__
held captive by prying eyes,
singular staring demise
blistering, searing, hate.
i wanted a reason to evolve
evolve past this vicious
misbetrayal of honor.
virtue is the act of an act.
where is your play?
virtue is not inherent,
as you proudly display.
can't set things right,
if you never
wanted it that way....
Read More
Look at the shell that is you--
empty, fragile, weak.
Soon the battle is over,
lost to apathy.
Hate the lies believed true--
desperate, happy, meek.
Abandoned, lying soul,
lost to apathy.
Introvertive/nondescriptive,
Crying the pointless tears,
my burning, closed eyes.
Eyes, that I may not see,
your hateful nonreaction.
Tell me one thing given,
given without gain.
What have you of mine
that you...
Read More
empty, fragile, weak.
Soon the battle is over,
lost to apathy.
Hate the lies believed true--
desperate, happy, meek.
Abandoned, lying soul,
lost to apathy.
Introvertive/nondescriptive,
Crying the pointless tears,
my burning, closed eyes.
Eyes, that I may not see,
your hateful nonreaction.
Tell me one thing given,
given without gain.
What have you of mine
that you...
Read More
techno_ballerina:
that is really beautiful.
I'm hung over. But it's a good hangover. One of those where you enjoy every conversation you have and everything is humorous/intoxicating. Intoxicating as in so enjoyable that it should be deemed "wrong".
I'm pretty happy that I got the responses that I did. I almost thought no one ever read my shit. Does my heart good
Well I'm at work and god bless high-speed...
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I'm pretty happy that I got the responses that I did. I almost thought no one ever read my shit. Does my heart good
Well I'm at work and god bless high-speed...
Read More
xip:
That was fucking awesome. If that song had been written for me, I would've given the writer my heart in return. Yep. Cut it right out and handed the bloody pumping mess to the lucky bastard.
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Set this world ablaze, let it all fall.
The disconnected pieces,
of a planet shattered, floating away.
The taint of your memory,
doesn't relent me safety,
but won't requite me a breath.
I just wrote for 45 minutes only to have a redirect banner pop-up and take all my words away. I'm going to proceed to begin again.
So I have this oppressive bad-taste in...
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The disconnected pieces,
of a planet shattered, floating away.
The taint of your memory,
doesn't relent me safety,
but won't requite me a breath.
I just wrote for 45 minutes only to have a redirect banner pop-up and take all my words away. I'm going to proceed to begin again.
So I have this oppressive bad-taste in...
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
techno_ballerina:
and i can relate. i'm such a night person myself. which is why i wish more stores were open 24-hours. 
while everyone is sleeping, i'm doing weird shit like writing papers and making brownies. sometimes sleep can wait. i'm starting to come to the conclusion i should take night classes instead.
while everyone is sleeping, i'm doing weird shit like writing papers and making brownies. sometimes sleep can wait. i'm starting to come to the conclusion i should take night classes instead.
xip:
I love your writing and you're a stimulating conversationalist... I'm sorry I've been neglecting you in light of the bullshit going on right now... I'm probably moving out very soon and will then have buckets of free time and anti-drama protection, so.. I will make it up to you as soon as I can
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fall into sleep, fall into me...
I have a dream
that nobody wants to hear
nobody wants to listen
hang onto a dream
that nobody wants
nobody cares anymore
gently moving forward
backwards, with closed eyes.
I have a dream
that nobody wants to hear
nobody wants to listen
hang onto a dream
that nobody wants
nobody cares anymore
gently moving forward
backwards, with closed eyes.
xip:
Hmm. I did not need to read this while going through my nihilistic phase...
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God... work.... NOOOO!
Good thing I slept well. Not.
Good thing I slept well. Not.
"You aren't even watching what you're doing, are you a complete moron or is that cigarette intoxicating you?"
"Stuff it. I was thinking about..." About the way that girl looked at me... there was something that led me to believe that it was more than a passing glance. The extra millisecond of prolonged eye contact, and the way she slowed down her movements ever-so slightly,...
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"Stuff it. I was thinking about..." About the way that girl looked at me... there was something that led me to believe that it was more than a passing glance. The extra millisecond of prolonged eye contact, and the way she slowed down her movements ever-so slightly,...
Read More
xip:
I'd love to name a child "Lethe"...your user picture gets hotter and hotter...you're right, I wasn't really on acid when I wrote that poem, I was already back down and you are a perceptive bastard...I've found that most drugs only accent sobriety...probably the brain bleeding that makes everything seem so much more intense...
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Now it is Thursday. It feels halfway between "yesterday was Monday...!" and "It's FINALLY FUCKING THURSDAY already?" for me right about now.
I went to work 9am Monday and left at 11:15pm. Went to the bar with a couple pseudo-friends- in bed by 3am. Arose at 9am, got to work at 9:30am. Left at 11:30pm, get home and try to fight a computer trojan infection...
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I went to work 9am Monday and left at 11:15pm. Went to the bar with a couple pseudo-friends- in bed by 3am. Arose at 9am, got to work at 9:30am. Left at 11:30pm, get home and try to fight a computer trojan infection...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
annalee:
Seeing them with Kreator a couple of months ago was the first time Id seen them. They were really good, they have such great presence. We met them too, i have the new album signed so that was nice. Have you seen them alot? 
annalee:
Yeah type O are awsome too, the first stuff they did was so different
I hate being at work for 14 hours. At least I can sit down and post crap in my journal.
Crap.
So what does anyone think of that song in my previous post?
I rather like it.
Crap.
So what does anyone think of that song in my previous post?
I rather like it.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
xip:
That song made me feel wistful, it seemed sort of romantically self-pitying. It made me feel beautiful and dead at the same time. Then again, that is how I always feel. 
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xip:
Your analysis of the story I wrote, about it being like a girl trying to escape a dominating male and finding herself unable, was chilling, because that story was based on a time in my life when I was leaving, or trying to leave, my then-boyfriend, who was more of a Dom than a Boyfriend, who was very fucked-up and sadistic and manipulative, and I did have a very hard time getting up the nerve to walk away from a man who had basically created himself as my god, and told me that is who he was and who he would always be and that there was a part of me that would always think of him as my lord.
But it just turned out he was an immature son of a bitch using mind games to get into the pants of someone who would normally be way too hot for him.
Ha! Oh well.
xip
But it just turned out he was an immature son of a bitch using mind games to get into the pants of someone who would normally be way too hot for him.
Ha! Oh well.
xip
I'd follow endlessly to live the life I've seen
now every passing moment I die but one degree
shall I relinquish my integrity
thereby ensuring that I'll remain unclean
Until my days filled with not untrust and fear
I'll not make one vow to which I won't adhere
I didn't want it this way but I've never wanted to stay
my life take not for...
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now every passing moment I die but one degree
shall I relinquish my integrity
thereby ensuring that I'll remain unclean
Until my days filled with not untrust and fear
I'll not make one vow to which I won't adhere
I didn't want it this way but I've never wanted to stay
my life take not for...
Read More
oh well. who cares, right?
and what exactly does it say about my personality? im just curious...ive never had anyone say that to me before