Set this world ablaze, let it all fall.
The disconnected pieces,
of a planet shattered, floating away.
The taint of your memory,
doesn't relent me safety,
but won't requite me a breath.
I just wrote for 45 minutes only to have a redirect banner pop-up and take all my words away. I'm going to proceed to begin again.
So I have this oppressive bad-taste in...
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The disconnected pieces,
of a planet shattered, floating away.
The taint of your memory,
doesn't relent me safety,
but won't requite me a breath.
I just wrote for 45 minutes only to have a redirect banner pop-up and take all my words away. I'm going to proceed to begin again.
So I have this oppressive bad-taste in...
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
fall into sleep, fall into me...
I have a dream
that nobody wants to hear
nobody wants to listen
hang onto a dream
that nobody wants
nobody cares anymore
gently moving forward
backwards, with closed eyes.
I have a dream
that nobody wants to hear
nobody wants to listen
hang onto a dream
that nobody wants
nobody cares anymore
gently moving forward
backwards, with closed eyes.
xip:
Hmm. I did not need to read this while going through my nihilistic phase...
xip
xip
God... work.... NOOOO!
Good thing I slept well. Not.
Good thing I slept well. Not.
"You aren't even watching what you're doing, are you a complete moron or is that cigarette intoxicating you?"
"Stuff it. I was thinking about..." About the way that girl looked at me... there was something that led me to believe that it was more than a passing glance. The extra millisecond of prolonged eye contact, and the way she slowed down her movements ever-so slightly,...
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"Stuff it. I was thinking about..." About the way that girl looked at me... there was something that led me to believe that it was more than a passing glance. The extra millisecond of prolonged eye contact, and the way she slowed down her movements ever-so slightly,...
Read More
xip:
I'd love to name a child "Lethe"...your user picture gets hotter and hotter...you're right, I wasn't really on acid when I wrote that poem, I was already back down and you are a perceptive bastard...I've found that most drugs only accent sobriety...probably the brain bleeding that makes everything seem so much more intense...
xip
xip
Now it is Thursday. It feels halfway between "yesterday was Monday...!" and "It's FINALLY FUCKING THURSDAY already?" for me right about now.
I went to work 9am Monday and left at 11:15pm. Went to the bar with a couple pseudo-friends- in bed by 3am. Arose at 9am, got to work at 9:30am. Left at 11:30pm, get home and try to fight a computer trojan infection...
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I went to work 9am Monday and left at 11:15pm. Went to the bar with a couple pseudo-friends- in bed by 3am. Arose at 9am, got to work at 9:30am. Left at 11:30pm, get home and try to fight a computer trojan infection...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
annalee:
Seeing them with Kreator a couple of months ago was the first time Id seen them. They were really good, they have such great presence. We met them too, i have the new album signed so that was nice. Have you seen them alot? 
annalee:
Yeah type O are awsome too, the first stuff they did was so different
I hate being at work for 14 hours. At least I can sit down and post crap in my journal.
Crap.
So what does anyone think of that song in my previous post?
I rather like it.
Crap.
So what does anyone think of that song in my previous post?
I rather like it.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
xip:
That song made me feel wistful, it seemed sort of romantically self-pitying. It made me feel beautiful and dead at the same time. Then again, that is how I always feel. 
xip
xip
xip:
Your analysis of the story I wrote, about it being like a girl trying to escape a dominating male and finding herself unable, was chilling, because that story was based on a time in my life when I was leaving, or trying to leave, my then-boyfriend, who was more of a Dom than a Boyfriend, who was very fucked-up and sadistic and manipulative, and I did have a very hard time getting up the nerve to walk away from a man who had basically created himself as my god, and told me that is who he was and who he would always be and that there was a part of me that would always think of him as my lord.
But it just turned out he was an immature son of a bitch using mind games to get into the pants of someone who would normally be way too hot for him.
Ha! Oh well.
xip
But it just turned out he was an immature son of a bitch using mind games to get into the pants of someone who would normally be way too hot for him.
Ha! Oh well.
xip
I'd follow endlessly to live the life I've seen
now every passing moment I die but one degree
shall I relinquish my integrity
thereby ensuring that I'll remain unclean
Until my days filled with not untrust and fear
I'll not make one vow to which I won't adhere
I didn't want it this way but I've never wanted to stay
my life take not for...
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now every passing moment I die but one degree
shall I relinquish my integrity
thereby ensuring that I'll remain unclean
Until my days filled with not untrust and fear
I'll not make one vow to which I won't adhere
I didn't want it this way but I've never wanted to stay
my life take not for...
Read More
Xip sucks for not embracing her esotericism.
And not being on AIM.
That is all.
And not being on AIM.
That is all.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
tristan:
i really hate when people request my friendship without ever talking to me first. why would i add someone i dont know?
disynthetic:
I sometimes randomly add friends based on their musical taste, if they're friends with people I am, if I think some of their comments I come across are witty or intelligent, so on.
Not because I think you're sexy. Honestly. So go ahead and make me wrong and tell me to piss off
[Edited on Apr 11, 2005 12:48AM]
Not because I think you're sexy. Honestly. So go ahead and make me wrong and tell me to piss off
[Edited on Apr 11, 2005 12:48AM]
nothing of a man was he
his true face of sleep a deception
fell through all the way to the bottom
learned to hold
why define ourselves by misguiding light?
how can we receive the static in their eyes
each blink of light an accuser
each unlit shape an assassin
crawled the outer rim
with his back exposed
the shadows unending
fought off the stares...
Read More
his true face of sleep a deception
fell through all the way to the bottom
learned to hold
why define ourselves by misguiding light?
how can we receive the static in their eyes
each blink of light an accuser
each unlit shape an assassin
crawled the outer rim
with his back exposed
the shadows unending
fought off the stares...
Read More
disynthetic:
Over the moor of mist and through valleys of fate
I fly on my voyage through this moonlit landscape
of re-emerged figments of imagination
I am aroused in sleep....aroused in sleep
Far beyond the gate which reflects in the closed eye
reveal that a dreamscape lies therein
A yearning for a world
where the everlost find their peace
In the pearly gates of dawn
on the astral feed of minds
- envenomed to the bone
forever cleansed from all called wrath
as slumber sneaks upon
and steals the thought of man
all ridden from inner aggression...
A voyage beyond this world
In this paralell to real life
- access lies in dreams
Unveil hidden secrets in our sleep
- the key to what's beyond
In the wake of man we see
essential dreams unfulfilled
Enhance the value of life
engraved words on the page of man
In the presence of the moon
an owl awakes and calls a name
tells a story of a world
accessable only at night...
"This ain't no dream..."
Legend tells of a yesterworld
a dreamscape of strange light
"It's your dream coming true"
Transcendance of the soul
All by the sign of the moon
I am eaten away in mouthfuls by flames
that burn in the errors of our ways
In a night when the sky floats blue
as touquoise, and the stars of silver are twinkling
in their outmost pride
Now from dimensions fallen from the skies
- like the flow of a stream
From my sleep I continue onward
- sleep is just a shape of destiny
Weak sunlight of dawns to come,
dancing swiftly in the shadows
Shimmering, shining in a landscape of dreams
...landscape of my dreams
Dim reflections of the pale
a shade of grey in mind
In the presence of the moon
an owl awakes and calls a name
tells a story of a world
accessable only at night...
"It's your reality..."
Legend tells of a yesterworld
a dreamscape of strange light
"It's much more than a dream"
Transcendance of the soul
All by the sign of the moon
Soon these worlds will be one
and mankind feasts on the sights of it all
I yearn for things to come
Still wrapped in the thrall of slumber
as the mist slippes away to reveal...
And the wind tears a scream from my lips
- I am there....
In the dreamscape I adore
(a moonclad reflection)
I fly on my voyage through this moonlit landscape
of re-emerged figments of imagination
I am aroused in sleep....aroused in sleep
Far beyond the gate which reflects in the closed eye
reveal that a dreamscape lies therein
A yearning for a world
where the everlost find their peace
In the pearly gates of dawn
on the astral feed of minds
- envenomed to the bone
forever cleansed from all called wrath
as slumber sneaks upon
and steals the thought of man
all ridden from inner aggression...
A voyage beyond this world
In this paralell to real life
- access lies in dreams
Unveil hidden secrets in our sleep
- the key to what's beyond
In the wake of man we see
essential dreams unfulfilled
Enhance the value of life
engraved words on the page of man
In the presence of the moon
an owl awakes and calls a name
tells a story of a world
accessable only at night...
"This ain't no dream..."
Legend tells of a yesterworld
a dreamscape of strange light
"It's your dream coming true"
Transcendance of the soul
All by the sign of the moon
I am eaten away in mouthfuls by flames
that burn in the errors of our ways
In a night when the sky floats blue
as touquoise, and the stars of silver are twinkling
in their outmost pride
Now from dimensions fallen from the skies
- like the flow of a stream
From my sleep I continue onward
- sleep is just a shape of destiny
Weak sunlight of dawns to come,
dancing swiftly in the shadows
Shimmering, shining in a landscape of dreams
...landscape of my dreams
Dim reflections of the pale
a shade of grey in mind
In the presence of the moon
an owl awakes and calls a name
tells a story of a world
accessable only at night...
"It's your reality..."
Legend tells of a yesterworld
a dreamscape of strange light
"It's much more than a dream"
Transcendance of the soul
All by the sign of the moon
Soon these worlds will be one
and mankind feasts on the sights of it all
I yearn for things to come
Still wrapped in the thrall of slumber
as the mist slippes away to reveal...
And the wind tears a scream from my lips
- I am there....
In the dreamscape I adore
(a moonclad reflection)
xip:
nullify the ego, stay right back
stay right back
how can we receive
the static?
we let our minds go
blank....
I fucking loved those verses. They're so jaded.. it's like sensory deprivation.
xip
stay right back
how can we receive
the static?
we let our minds go
blank....
I fucking loved those verses. They're so jaded.. it's like sensory deprivation.
xip
So I'm wondering how many people use the blog-style for displaying their journal entries, since one post at a time is the default setting.
And I'm eating a plate of taco-flavored Doritos with melted cheddar cheese. I like to put a few chips on a plate, some cheese, chips ontop of that, cheese, chips, then cheese again. I dislike not having cheese on my chips....
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And I'm eating a plate of taco-flavored Doritos with melted cheddar cheese. I like to put a few chips on a plate, some cheese, chips ontop of that, cheese, chips, then cheese again. I dislike not having cheese on my chips....
Read More
So payday comes around and that means it's time to go to the record store.
I picked up Dark Tranquility: Damage Done, Caliban: Opposite From Within, Soilwork: Stabbing the Drama, and Unearth: The Oncoming Storm. I spent an hour at Best Buy seeing if they had anything good and I ended up walking to the cashier with ten cds that I really wanted and a...
Read More
I picked up Dark Tranquility: Damage Done, Caliban: Opposite From Within, Soilwork: Stabbing the Drama, and Unearth: The Oncoming Storm. I spent an hour at Best Buy seeing if they had anything good and I ended up walking to the cashier with ten cds that I really wanted and a...
Read More
Alright, I am caving in.
I am going to log off, go outside, smoke cigarettes, look at stars, think of music, and then finally go to sleep.
Inside.
I am going to log off, go outside, smoke cigarettes, look at stars, think of music, and then finally go to sleep.
Inside.
xip:
1, if you ever need anyone to talk to on AIM, I'm frequently on there when my internet is working anyway. It's "happinessOplenty."
2, Knowing that you have read my comments in others' journals makes me feel strangely naked! Oh wait. It's the fact that thousands of people HAVE seen me naked that makes me feel strangely naked. Never mind. False alarm. xip
2, Knowing that you have read my comments in others' journals makes me feel strangely naked! Oh wait. It's the fact that thousands of people HAVE seen me naked that makes me feel strangely naked. Never mind. False alarm. xip
disynthetic:
reading other people's comments is is about half as fun as saying those things myself. which is more fun than zero fun.
right.
right.
xip