disynthetic

expose my dark side
can't you see it?
letting loose a scream
relief as I need it
don't want these thoughts

breathe me in
make me understand
i won't live for never
make me understand
you're there for me

relieves nothing
crashing, impossible
away from the light
i'll find a return

pains of loyalty
this burns, it rips, it hurts
what does it feel, to...
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Can you believe that it is entirely possible to spend a lifetime searching for enjoyment and meaning but going about it entirely wrong? Never realizing? I almost would have assuredly gone on forever thinking like an emotional vampire. And the worst part is being naive to it.

That's alright though. Once you have your 'epiphany' the past is completely forgiveable. Mostly anyway. I'm still not...
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Soon. I will shortly have a satisfactory update prepared for viewing pleasure. After I have finished reading Anansi Boys uninterrupted post-purchase, save this break for juice and a cigarette halfway through, and after I read the second half of the book with equally wide-eyed enjoyment.

Bearing that in mind, please disregard this post and its idiosyncratic contradictions. Thank you, dear innocent (or not so in...
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No trite 'in memorium' songs or poems for this day of anniversary are called for, as I could not bear to think what kinds of ridicule and belittling humor Mr. Ray would have bestowed upon me for my sentimentality. However, today, one year ago my fast, pot-smoking, killer drum-playing, cynical, troubled, and most of all best, friend decided to take his own misjudged-for-its-value life from...
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k&n-'sep-ch&-w&l

god is the notion of a bookmark. an intangible placeholder we use to create pause or take a break. other times you choose to just lay the book open on its spine and assume you can/will return to where you left off. hopefully rereading the same chapter over and over again can be avoided, but in all likelihood, everyone will do it at some...
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it's raining once again. warm breeze blows while the water chills me to nigh shivering. the ground--still cold from yesterday's bitterness--is moist and soft like there isn't any room for the night sky's bullshit tears. obviously its had enough and so have i. no way will there be another day to spill my milk and stain my white shirttommorrow may be another day, tommorrow may...
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It has been so far an awfully destructive year. Fear not, progress will be made. Paths will be repaved. Etcetera.

o.0

It smells like chocolate in my house, and I woke up exhausted this morning. Not, yet, midnight is approaching and I can't fight a drowsiness that makes me nod off for moments to startle awake. I feel no desire to go to sleep because that means today won't exist anymore. There is no longing for today to continue as any other day, but there is...
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There's a little difference between what makes me feel insignificant and introverted, and something that makes a man feel like he won't amount to more than the sum of his self-fulfilling doubts. Sometimes I admit I can't even focus on the last half of a complete thought before I carry on into the next bright idea, only to fall short upon realization of the actual...
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these new shores burn / don't ripple my calm
darkness lights these few short breaths / past
lies calm

fire // contempt for patience / burn out
I felt a flame / in the wind blown ashes
to it I look

To you I laugh silent / flame, embers, fade

Her whispers kiss my ear as if they were a gentle touch of tall grass in the breeze. To ignore my pleasure at such gentleness would be a great masochistic tragedy. To give in to her honeyed words and be seduced by her sweetness comes as a chilling thought to my warm body. Have my wits gone on holiday or am I merely intrigued with...
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beneath a guise of me

Isolation from other people is one thing everyone can agree on being afraid of, down to the root of their being. Granted many people will argue this point based on their own varying degree of this fear, the fear is based on a lack of knowledge and understanding and the things this causes them to do. Submerging a fear into...
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