Awoke today to the same idea that plauges I'm just waiting for this to fade in time to fade away and although time has an interesting way to pass the days I sit here plagued in the vague idea that I'm failing because as a child i never dreamed the dream to see me one day a monkey sweating pennies to bring your wishes to fulfillment over a five hour shift pulling the tips coping with shit hoping it would cover the money spent at the end of a month.

Hope it seems, is dead.

But hope i must in order to bust to break free of this trust in everyone else to bail me out of whatever prison my mind is placed in even if its just six months even i feel I need that fast track speed that i can only find outside of where i'm confined to be for the next few weeks still sweating your pennies thrown at leisure based upon your pleasure that i never seem to deliver.

Hope it seems, is dead.

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YOAGY just hit me with a big frozen block of ground beef... I must take a shower now