disgustipated

I want a fast forward button for my life.

I'm exhausted. For the past 8 months i've felt like i've been a word away from exploding. It was good before. It's not good anymore.

So, i've been working the past couple days. Working tomorrow as well. I'm just doing some contract stuff for a friend's company. Nothing remotely interesting and no challenge. Relatively boring, but it pays well. I'm not sure how it'll affect my unemployment benefits. I hope i don't have to refile or take that stupid informational class again. ugh. I was pretty excited to have something...
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Six hundred and forty fish later,
the only thing I know is everything you love will die.

i am

The moon is amazing tonight. It's full or nearly full, and there is a unbelieveable ring around it. It has a name, but I can't remember what that is called. I keep going outside to smoke just so I can look at it.

the only way it could be any better is if someone was here to see it with me.

My buddy Tom is possibly one of the funniest fuckers i've ever had the pleasure of knowing... Finally, after years of prodding, he has a blog/journal. Funny shiat

Had lunch with Napalm today. We ended up sitting on the patio at Trudys for four hours talking. Didn't expect that really, but it was good for the most part. Some parts that made me REAL unhappy, but I still Love her and she still Loves me, but we can't be together right now. And I understand why I think. I still hope that things...
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i think i need a drink.

Things have been the weirdness around here lately. I haven't really left the house much this week. Mostly playing video games and reading. I finished up Lullaby, and am currently reading Bukowski's Tales of Ordinary Madness and books 5, 6, and 7 of the Dark Tower series.

Went to Mars for a friends birthday on wednesday and hung out with Napalm last night. Things are...
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With my feet upon the ground I lose myself
between the sounds and open wide to suck it in,
I feel it move across my skin.
I'm reaching up and reaching out,
I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been.
We'll ride the spiral to the end and...
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down.

but not out. not yet.

Patience is my weakness and my best friend.

It's my weakness, yet I must embrace it.

December has broken me. First, I lose my job the monday after Thanksgiving, then I lose my girlfriend this past saturday. I have hope for both, but it is hard. I'm having a very difficult time concentrating on finding a job. I go through the motions, send out resumes, do phone interviews and such, but I think when they look in my eyes they see...
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