It is early in the morning ... too early for me to even be awake ... especially for a Sunday.
I wish I could say that this past week was a good one but I will be honest ... it kind of sucked while having brief moments of triumph.
The one thing that stands out the most was last Sunday ... I invited a girl that I know to go see the musical Rent and at the last moment on Saturday night ... she cancels. In a pinch I invite another friend and he says that he would go and then at 5:30 on the day of ... he cancels too. The show starts at 6:30.
I get in the car and drive to the theatre and I sit there. I am dressed up and by myself and I sit there.
I look at my hand and see one untorn ticket and I look to my right to see an empty seat in its folded position and I sit there and so begins the self pity or perhaps the anger. Why was I alone that night?
Everyone in the world asks me why I am single ... girls that I have been interested in have asked me why I am single ... they tell me I am cute and attractive and that I am sweet and so nice ... and then ask me . I would rather have someone rip out a testicle than get asked this question because I don't fucking know and neither do they when I ask them why they turned me down.
While having these thoughts I look around the room and notice these peculiar glances being thrown my way . The eyes were speaking to me , or maybe I was imagining what they were saying . Things like " is he really all alone?" or "Perhaps his date is in the bathroom." or "Oh how sad ... sitting there all by himself."
And I pause in this thought to ask myself why this is bothering me so much. I have always said that I am content and that I love who I am and I love the freedom that I have and I know that this is all very very true but then it dawns on me that for the first time in 27 years ... I am lonely and longing for my soulmate.
I wish I could say that this past week was a good one but I will be honest ... it kind of sucked while having brief moments of triumph.
The one thing that stands out the most was last Sunday ... I invited a girl that I know to go see the musical Rent and at the last moment on Saturday night ... she cancels. In a pinch I invite another friend and he says that he would go and then at 5:30 on the day of ... he cancels too. The show starts at 6:30.
I get in the car and drive to the theatre and I sit there. I am dressed up and by myself and I sit there.
I look at my hand and see one untorn ticket and I look to my right to see an empty seat in its folded position and I sit there and so begins the self pity or perhaps the anger. Why was I alone that night?
Everyone in the world asks me why I am single ... girls that I have been interested in have asked me why I am single ... they tell me I am cute and attractive and that I am sweet and so nice ... and then ask me . I would rather have someone rip out a testicle than get asked this question because I don't fucking know and neither do they when I ask them why they turned me down.
While having these thoughts I look around the room and notice these peculiar glances being thrown my way . The eyes were speaking to me , or maybe I was imagining what they were saying . Things like " is he really all alone?" or "Perhaps his date is in the bathroom." or "Oh how sad ... sitting there all by himself."
And I pause in this thought to ask myself why this is bothering me so much. I have always said that I am content and that I love who I am and I love the freedom that I have and I know that this is all very very true but then it dawns on me that for the first time in 27 years ... I am lonely and longing for my soulmate.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
yeah, i saw you.
i was the chick in black with the glasses, standing with the very tall goatee'd fellow in the overcoat.
i was "Woo-Hooing" very loud, and dancing.