It should have been beautiful.
French peasant dishes are generally known for their forgiving nature. After all, these were the sorts of things that a matron should be able to whip up on a limited budget in a short amount of time, since they had to do chores like reap wheat in the fields and get painted by Millet.
But should they, while in the midst of their agrarian errands, happen to stumble upon a Time Machine and enter the 21st century, they will have problems cooking the dishes that they once knew and loved. For instance, some recipes require the ol iron skillet. For Mademoiselle Peasant, this tool is a cheap and indispensable part of her repertoire. Its used on the stove, in the oven, over a flame, in any situation, and her repast often takes advantage of this chicken that is pan-fried and then shoved into the oven to bake in its own juices, for instance. One simply cannot cook without an iron skillet!
But the only skillets available to the great unwashed in this day and age are not iron. They are some unknown metal, often coated in cheap, peeling Teflon and affixed with nylon handles. And this skillet will drip and melt and release noxious fumes if stuck into an oven. The only iron skillets I can find around town are all tony affairs. They are no longer cheap because no one buys them except for foodies and cooks, and both are willing to pay exorbitant amounts to have a skillet formed cheaply from pig iron.
Mademoiselle Peasant wouldnt know what to do with herself. No, wait, she would. Shed get a microwave and rest her aching dogs. But thats not the point. The point is that it should have been beautiful.
The ingredients list for chicken and vinegar is quite simple. Pan-fried, and then roasted chicken. Red wine vinegar and shallots, or if shallots are unavailable, onions and garlic. Some oil. Salt and pepper to taste. Keep it all in the same pan, not only because that should make it easier, but that keeps the fatty flavor of the chicken skin from running off.
I have no iron skillet, no way to move the chicken from stovetop to oven and back. But the flavor will be saved, the flavor must be saved. So I used a standard skillet on the stove and a baking sheet for the oven. Moving the chicken to the baking sheet was easy - spear the chicken, lay on sheet. Drizzle drippings over chicken. Deglaze pan, pour glaze over drippings.
Then I had to move the drippings back to the skillet to create the vinegar reduction sauce. A simple maneuver, Just tilt the baking sheet and let the grease run back into the skillet yep, just tilt the sheet, good grip with the towels, cant burn myself, here we go, one, two OWmotherfucker.
oshit
All it takes is one slip, one bit of contact with screaming hot metal, and wham! The floor is covered in chicken fat.
The sauce still cooked fine how beautifully simple, minced onions and red wine vinegar, reduced for a few minutes, the flavor! Balanced, but intense! and the chicken came out a bit overcooked but nothing that cant be dealt with. And the blister on my wrist an annoyance at worst, a battle scar at best. But its hard to enjoy your dinner when youre skating around a tile floor on a thick layer of grease. If nothing else, its hard to stand long enough to move the food to a plate.
It was not a beautiful thing, the yellowed chicken fat that clogged the tile floor. It was not a beautiful thing.
The kitchen is clean now. Since I was too cheap for a mop, it only took a roll of paper towels and half a bottle of 409 (extra strength!) and some Lysol to keep the kitchen from smelling like roasting poultry. And what puddles of gunk I missed, I have no doubt the cockroaches will mop up in short order - which is why I spread some boron powder around. Have a fine last meal, you mutant motherfuckers.
I didnt press her but Greta elected not to tell me what she did this past Saturday night. Well yeah. Had fun. was the most she would volunteer. Which is a first.
Ive been waiting for the first complication. Lets see how well I can handle it.
French peasant dishes are generally known for their forgiving nature. After all, these were the sorts of things that a matron should be able to whip up on a limited budget in a short amount of time, since they had to do chores like reap wheat in the fields and get painted by Millet.
But should they, while in the midst of their agrarian errands, happen to stumble upon a Time Machine and enter the 21st century, they will have problems cooking the dishes that they once knew and loved. For instance, some recipes require the ol iron skillet. For Mademoiselle Peasant, this tool is a cheap and indispensable part of her repertoire. Its used on the stove, in the oven, over a flame, in any situation, and her repast often takes advantage of this chicken that is pan-fried and then shoved into the oven to bake in its own juices, for instance. One simply cannot cook without an iron skillet!
But the only skillets available to the great unwashed in this day and age are not iron. They are some unknown metal, often coated in cheap, peeling Teflon and affixed with nylon handles. And this skillet will drip and melt and release noxious fumes if stuck into an oven. The only iron skillets I can find around town are all tony affairs. They are no longer cheap because no one buys them except for foodies and cooks, and both are willing to pay exorbitant amounts to have a skillet formed cheaply from pig iron.
Mademoiselle Peasant wouldnt know what to do with herself. No, wait, she would. Shed get a microwave and rest her aching dogs. But thats not the point. The point is that it should have been beautiful.
The ingredients list for chicken and vinegar is quite simple. Pan-fried, and then roasted chicken. Red wine vinegar and shallots, or if shallots are unavailable, onions and garlic. Some oil. Salt and pepper to taste. Keep it all in the same pan, not only because that should make it easier, but that keeps the fatty flavor of the chicken skin from running off.
I have no iron skillet, no way to move the chicken from stovetop to oven and back. But the flavor will be saved, the flavor must be saved. So I used a standard skillet on the stove and a baking sheet for the oven. Moving the chicken to the baking sheet was easy - spear the chicken, lay on sheet. Drizzle drippings over chicken. Deglaze pan, pour glaze over drippings.
Then I had to move the drippings back to the skillet to create the vinegar reduction sauce. A simple maneuver, Just tilt the baking sheet and let the grease run back into the skillet yep, just tilt the sheet, good grip with the towels, cant burn myself, here we go, one, two OWmotherfucker.
oshit
All it takes is one slip, one bit of contact with screaming hot metal, and wham! The floor is covered in chicken fat.
The sauce still cooked fine how beautifully simple, minced onions and red wine vinegar, reduced for a few minutes, the flavor! Balanced, but intense! and the chicken came out a bit overcooked but nothing that cant be dealt with. And the blister on my wrist an annoyance at worst, a battle scar at best. But its hard to enjoy your dinner when youre skating around a tile floor on a thick layer of grease. If nothing else, its hard to stand long enough to move the food to a plate.
It was not a beautiful thing, the yellowed chicken fat that clogged the tile floor. It was not a beautiful thing.
The kitchen is clean now. Since I was too cheap for a mop, it only took a roll of paper towels and half a bottle of 409 (extra strength!) and some Lysol to keep the kitchen from smelling like roasting poultry. And what puddles of gunk I missed, I have no doubt the cockroaches will mop up in short order - which is why I spread some boron powder around. Have a fine last meal, you mutant motherfuckers.
I didnt press her but Greta elected not to tell me what she did this past Saturday night. Well yeah. Had fun. was the most she would volunteer. Which is a first.
Ive been waiting for the first complication. Lets see how well I can handle it.
thee_blacklisted:
that was brilliant, the thing about cheney -- i'm clearly gonna have to fry that motherfucker up and grab the girl for myself!