So anyway.
The reason i feel the need to tell you all about me, to let you get to know me, is simple.
Hardly anyone does.
I don't have many friends. No pity party please, it's mostly my own fault.
I've never had a normal social life, i've always been the girl you say hi to when you're out but would never dream of calling to find out what i'm doing tonight. A thousand acquaintances, but no friends, that's me. I'm everyones drinking partner, but when the last orders bell rings, it's just me, on my own, drunkly sobbing into my shot-glass about how nobody really knows me, or understands, or cares. Boo-fucking-hoo. But people just seem to like me better when they don't really know me. Maybe i've become a self-fulfiling prophecy - i have a huge outsider complex - but what came first, the chicken or the egg?
Oh, i've had friends, once upon a time, i've had amazing, intense friendships, but they all seem to just...trail off. That's so much worse than a horrible break up, don't you think? To not know where it all went wrong, or what you did. And then to live with the little self-worth destroying demons telling you 'it was all going so well until you told them that. or shared this. or or or or...'
People don't tend to stick around in my life, for whatever reason, and this repeated pattern, with me as the common denominator, so one can only conclude that it is i doing the fucking up.
And it's left me feeling theres no point of investing any time of effort into friendships because they never last.
Blah blah blah, skip to the end and...
...this is the first thing i am trying to change about my sorry life. To get used to the idea that it's not the end of the world if you accidentally give some of yrself away because people might actually like what they see enough to come back again. And so what if they don't? It's not as if i'm offering up my childhood trauma right from the first date. No harm done. And it's not being a pest or a burden if I try to forge a friendship because, hey, maybe I AM fun to be around. Maybe. If i say it enough times, it makes it true, right?
And so, lovely internet people, i am practicing on you. Consider you my social experiment.
Have you had enough yet?
The reason i feel the need to tell you all about me, to let you get to know me, is simple.
Hardly anyone does.
I don't have many friends. No pity party please, it's mostly my own fault.
I've never had a normal social life, i've always been the girl you say hi to when you're out but would never dream of calling to find out what i'm doing tonight. A thousand acquaintances, but no friends, that's me. I'm everyones drinking partner, but when the last orders bell rings, it's just me, on my own, drunkly sobbing into my shot-glass about how nobody really knows me, or understands, or cares. Boo-fucking-hoo. But people just seem to like me better when they don't really know me. Maybe i've become a self-fulfiling prophecy - i have a huge outsider complex - but what came first, the chicken or the egg?
Oh, i've had friends, once upon a time, i've had amazing, intense friendships, but they all seem to just...trail off. That's so much worse than a horrible break up, don't you think? To not know where it all went wrong, or what you did. And then to live with the little self-worth destroying demons telling you 'it was all going so well until you told them that. or shared this. or or or or...'
People don't tend to stick around in my life, for whatever reason, and this repeated pattern, with me as the common denominator, so one can only conclude that it is i doing the fucking up.
And it's left me feeling theres no point of investing any time of effort into friendships because they never last.
Blah blah blah, skip to the end and...
...this is the first thing i am trying to change about my sorry life. To get used to the idea that it's not the end of the world if you accidentally give some of yrself away because people might actually like what they see enough to come back again. And so what if they don't? It's not as if i'm offering up my childhood trauma right from the first date. No harm done. And it's not being a pest or a burden if I try to forge a friendship because, hey, maybe I AM fun to be around. Maybe. If i say it enough times, it makes it true, right?
And so, lovely internet people, i am practicing on you. Consider you my social experiment.
Have you had enough yet?
VIEW 25 of 33 COMMENTS
zamuzel:
Sexual Tony's fingers in my pork pie!!!
timebandit:
its better to be loved for who u are then someone u are trying to be ... never give up hope that u will never find ur true friends u prob just need to find yourself first and ur just getting all the shit heads outta the way first .. Ever one i feel comes into ur life for a reason and leaves ur life for a reason thats human life in a nut shell .. Never give up hope if u find 1 true friend u are damm lucky because majority of people arent worth it good luck 