In happier news, tomorrow is my birthday.
Motherfuckers BETTER give me props....
or else.
WHAAAAAT? I just noticed that SG already has declared that I am a year older! PLEEEAAASE! I beseech you oh benevolent SG servers, grant me only a few more hours with which to ameliorate the otherwise unrepentantly wretched 24th year of my life!
Yeah, a year ago on my birthday, guess what I was doing?
->From the invisible, illusory peanut gallery:
*getting drunk!
*hanging out at Billenium's house!
*playing video games!
*jerking off!
No. No no no no. I had carefully crafted a devious plan which, despite it's inherent brilliance was doomed to utter failure. At the time, I was working for an online bookstore (actually this was what I refer to as The Worst Job Ever Held By Any Human Anywhere Ever, hereafter "TWJEHBAHAE"). I took the day off, ostensibly to "do something with my friends", but instead, I had arranged job interviews. Yes, job interviews. On my birthday. So desperate was I to break free of TWJEHBAHAE that I actually thought that arranging job interviews on my birthday would give me an edge, as though employers would like to "give me a birthday present of gainful employment".
->again, from the unerringly vociferous peanut gallery:
*On your BIRTHDAY?!? That's lame!
*So, tell us where the fucking interviews were already!
Well, the first one was at a Biotech recruiting firm in my town. Actually, this was a bizarre experience, because I called the place up and actually spoke to the owner of the company, and she kept laughing at everything. It began to sound less like a sound of amusement, and more like an audible nervous twitch. Anyway, after a few moments of idle chat she said "Do you want to come in right now?", which took me by surprise, but I said that I'd like to. So I grabbed some lame khakis and some equally lame button down shirt, pulled them on and raced off to my ad-hoc interview with high hopes. Well, I showed up and chatted with the nice lady who I'd spoken to on the phone, and she actually asked me if I could start in 2 days time, which caught me off guard. But, I said I would, thinking that would get me the job. And so our interview ended, and not a moment too soon, because I had to get in my car and race to my other interview at a nearby real estate company. It was a similar thing, I spoke to the owner of the company who said he was "getting a very good feeling" and ALSO wanted to know if I could start 2 days from now? Stunned, I said I would, suddenly unsure if I was going to have a tough choice on my hands soon.
And so I drove home, feeling pleased that I had done so well at both interviews. At each of them I mentioned it was my birthday which got surprised reactions: Do you have any PLANS? Are you going to do anything EXCITING? To which I answered, coolly: "Well, actually I'm planning on getting a JOB", which prompted polite chuckles.
And then, the next day, I got emails from both companies saying they "didn't feel [I was] a good fit for the position".
->Sudden sympathy from the phantom peanut gallery:
*Well this birthday's gunna be better, right?
Well, no. This year I'm 3,000 miles away from my friends, with absolutely nothing on my employment horizon. But hey, I'm with my girlfriend (this week is also our 4 year anniversary, thank you thank you) and my new kitten (still immensely cute, new pics coming soon), and loads of video games that need playing. It's going to be chill, and quiet and lonely. Just the way I like it.
But, if you guys want to come over, just lemme know, and we'll do something cool, I promise.
Motherfuckers BETTER give me props....
or else.
WHAAAAAT? I just noticed that SG already has declared that I am a year older! PLEEEAAASE! I beseech you oh benevolent SG servers, grant me only a few more hours with which to ameliorate the otherwise unrepentantly wretched 24th year of my life!
Yeah, a year ago on my birthday, guess what I was doing?
->From the invisible, illusory peanut gallery:
*getting drunk!
*hanging out at Billenium's house!
*playing video games!
*jerking off!
No. No no no no. I had carefully crafted a devious plan which, despite it's inherent brilliance was doomed to utter failure. At the time, I was working for an online bookstore (actually this was what I refer to as The Worst Job Ever Held By Any Human Anywhere Ever, hereafter "TWJEHBAHAE"). I took the day off, ostensibly to "do something with my friends", but instead, I had arranged job interviews. Yes, job interviews. On my birthday. So desperate was I to break free of TWJEHBAHAE that I actually thought that arranging job interviews on my birthday would give me an edge, as though employers would like to "give me a birthday present of gainful employment".
->again, from the unerringly vociferous peanut gallery:
*On your BIRTHDAY?!? That's lame!
*So, tell us where the fucking interviews were already!
Well, the first one was at a Biotech recruiting firm in my town. Actually, this was a bizarre experience, because I called the place up and actually spoke to the owner of the company, and she kept laughing at everything. It began to sound less like a sound of amusement, and more like an audible nervous twitch. Anyway, after a few moments of idle chat she said "Do you want to come in right now?", which took me by surprise, but I said that I'd like to. So I grabbed some lame khakis and some equally lame button down shirt, pulled them on and raced off to my ad-hoc interview with high hopes. Well, I showed up and chatted with the nice lady who I'd spoken to on the phone, and she actually asked me if I could start in 2 days time, which caught me off guard. But, I said I would, thinking that would get me the job. And so our interview ended, and not a moment too soon, because I had to get in my car and race to my other interview at a nearby real estate company. It was a similar thing, I spoke to the owner of the company who said he was "getting a very good feeling" and ALSO wanted to know if I could start 2 days from now? Stunned, I said I would, suddenly unsure if I was going to have a tough choice on my hands soon.
And so I drove home, feeling pleased that I had done so well at both interviews. At each of them I mentioned it was my birthday which got surprised reactions: Do you have any PLANS? Are you going to do anything EXCITING? To which I answered, coolly: "Well, actually I'm planning on getting a JOB", which prompted polite chuckles.
And then, the next day, I got emails from both companies saying they "didn't feel [I was] a good fit for the position".
->Sudden sympathy from the phantom peanut gallery:
*Well this birthday's gunna be better, right?
Well, no. This year I'm 3,000 miles away from my friends, with absolutely nothing on my employment horizon. But hey, I'm with my girlfriend (this week is also our 4 year anniversary, thank you thank you) and my new kitten (still immensely cute, new pics coming soon), and loads of video games that need playing. It's going to be chill, and quiet and lonely. Just the way I like it.
But, if you guys want to come over, just lemme know, and we'll do something cool, I promise.
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
I done missed your b-day. I hope the celebration was so intense, 3 civilizations were consumed in a flash of pure energy because of it.
Happy 25th, yo.