disastermagnet

My first encounter with a Mayfly.


Golly, it must have been about 3am, and I was happily propped up on 3 pillows in my fold-out couch bed, reading Midnight's Children with a big smile on my face. I kept rubbing my nose to fight off that dreadful itch that I've had on the insides of my nostrils since I showed up here in NorCali. What I've been told about that is that we're at the perfect temperature for pollen to form and never be reabsorbed into...whatever pollen gets absorbed into. Consequently, I constantly have a dirtlike smell in my nose, and until last night that was the worst thing that I'd had to deal with here in the Santa Cruz mountains.

As much as I wanted to press onward to page 75 before taking a break, my bladder's agenda refused to be postponed. So, with a shrug, I flopped the open book over the arm of the couch and decided to head inside.

I guess I should freeze the frame right as I reach for my doorknob and tell you a bit about my situation.

My bedroom is a converted garage, complete with carpeting and electrical outlets and all manner of other requisite amenities. The problem is, that there is no running water, so in order to get a drink, or use the bathroom, I have to GO OUTSIDE, down a short wooden walkway and into the house. Normally this is no big deal; the walkway has a railing on one side that leads over to a porch area near the front door, and a slanted roof overhead so that I can stay dry when its raining. No sweat. Except that in the middle of the night, I open my door into darkness that extends outward behind the house, and straight ahead, melted away only by the yellow light above the front door. And all around, I can feel the brooding mountains and hear a shrieking of frogs thats so loud I can't believe its issuing from a creature I that could fit in the palm of my hand.

Okay, press play, and the footage starts rolling again. I open the door, into the stygian unknown. I step out onto the walkway and already I know something is terribly wrong. I pull the door closed behind me and radio central command for updated satphotos and thermal scans on my position. But the response is only disquieting sibilance.
I duck low, and edge along the side of the house. Before I can step into the dull yellow light I hear it. Like a helicopter with high speed blades descending out of the night. The sound silences the frogs and makes the planks beneath my feet vibrate. My pulse quickens, and I draw my katana. Its edge glows blue with illuminated monofilament, flickering with tiny sparks in response to rapid signals fed into sensors in the handle via special contact points installed in my hand. I'm suddenly aware of a tightness in my stomach and heat steadily rising on my cheeks. And right then, I hear my radio come screaming back to life for a moment before going dead again:
"...ayfl...repeat! You hav....mayfly....descending on your posi..on...take evasiv.....ction....rep.."
God dammit. They warned us about this all through training, but I never thought it would happen to me.
I flatten my back against the wall, blue sparks arcing brighter and faster along my katana, and watch in horror as the creature comes into view.
Enormous. With 6 legs, and a serrated rainbow colored body, wings above beating too fast to see. Horrid crablike pincers, shiny segmented tendrils around a ridgid maw. I drop to the floor, smelling pungent earth.
With surprising grace, the creature adheres itself to the outside of the house, clearly drawn on by the yellow porchlight. After a moment, I hear splintering cracking sounds as the creature begins to pull apart the weathered brown shingles on the front of the house.
Time to act.

Real time->In a single motion I propel myself from the floor, to perch on the railing, and with a small grab and tug I'm on the inclined roof, but the creature has already sensed danger.
Katana sizzling like a frozen lightning bolt I prepare to deal a single killing blow, but the creature springs away from the outside of the house before I can do so, long splinters still protruding from its glistening jaws blurring wings threatening to blow me from my precarious spot on the slanted roof. And with a growl, directs its attention to me.
As it begins to swoop toward me, I sidestep, avoiding the clutching pincers. It lands smoothly, and lunges at me with insectile speed. Reacting out of a mix of training and instinct I bring my katana up in time to deflect a claw grasping for my head. With a smooth reversal of inertia I bring the blade back around slicing off 2 of the maw tendrils with an electric snap. There's a strong smell of ozone, and the creature screams and pulls back in a single jerk. Opting to fall back, I drop from the roof, briefly catching the edge to lessen my fall, and scramble back over the railing. But even before I can complete this, the creature has already given chase. I can hear the helicopter wings as my feet touch the ground and I lunge for the railing. I hit the wooden planks just as I see the creature nearing a support column holding up the roof. It grabs the column and railing with its 6 feet and tries to pull itself through the opening, but lucky for me, the thing is just too big. I stand, and with a savage, crackling strike cripple one of the crab claws. I drop to avoid a swipe from the other one, and with 2 quick strikes as I get back up, I manage to sever one of the claws, and render the other immobile. With a bellow of pain and frustration, the creature bounds from the railing and hovers in the air to glare at me with hideous, unearthly eyes. Finally, it turns to go, carrying off one of the small Toyota Corollas with it before disappearing from sight.
My training served me well that night, but god help me, may I never see another mayfly again as long as I live.



**Note
If you didn't already, check out my last journal entry which features a thing my sister wrote. Its pretty nutty stuff.