The following is a paid advertisement from:
CoreOfSelf Technologies Inc.
...beeeeeeeep.
*brief shriek of feedback*
*click*
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ARE ALL GOING TO PAY! DO YOU HEAR ME?? AND THERE'S NOT A GOD DAMN THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! YOU CAN RUN CRYIN' TO YOUR MOMMA, BUT IT'S NOT GUNNA DO YA ANY GOOD, YA HEAR ME?? SO JUST LIE DOWN WHILE I GO GET A DULL FORK, AND DON'T STRUGGLE CUZ IT'LL JUST TAKE LONGER! TRY TO RUN AND I'LL CATCH YOU! TRY TO HIDE AND I'LL FIND YOU! I HAVE ANGRY HORNETS FLYING AROUND IN MY SKULL!! AUUGHH!!! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIIIIIIIII
*click*
The preceding message was a paid advertisement from:
CoreOfSelf Technologies Inc.
and does not necessarily reflect the views of our member stations or sponsors.
Dude, TV would be so much cooler if I was in charge of it. There would only be 3 sitcoms, and they'll be called White People, Black People and Hispanic People; you know, just so simplify the focus groups. Oh, and they'll all have pretty much the same theme song:
Whiiiiiiiite People
Whiiiiiiiite People
This show is for
whiiiiiiite people
don't change the channel
(dun dun dun)
during the commercials!
(do do-do!)
and ya know, swap out white for Black or Hispanic accordingly. Every other show would just be some random length-no more half hour blocks. Some shows would only have 4.3 minutes of airtime at random intervals throughout the day. And shows wouldn't be on at regular time intervals. To find out when your favorite show is on you'd have to solve Second Order Nonlinear Differential equations using seed polynomials generated from a massive decaying isotope. We'll say that's how the shows are picked, but it will really be by an angry monkey wearing an eyepatch and a Hello Kitty diaper jumping on a modified twister board while me and the other network execs throw toothpaste covered brocolli and flaming dollar bills encrusted with elepant teeth at it.
And every movie station would only be able to play Fear Dot Com, The Core, House of the Dead, Magnolia and Up The Creek. That is, when they're not playing every single Faces of Death movie back to back at the same time.
Just give me control of all TV programming in America for 2 weeks, and people will be throwing their TVs off of the tops of high buildings and gouging out their eyes with clamshells.
....
Yup. Hundred Years of Solitude is destroying my brain, just like I thought it would. Good. My brain sucked.
CoreOfSelf Technologies Inc.
...beeeeeeeep.
*brief shriek of feedback*
*click*
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ARE ALL GOING TO PAY! DO YOU HEAR ME?? AND THERE'S NOT A GOD DAMN THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! YOU CAN RUN CRYIN' TO YOUR MOMMA, BUT IT'S NOT GUNNA DO YA ANY GOOD, YA HEAR ME?? SO JUST LIE DOWN WHILE I GO GET A DULL FORK, AND DON'T STRUGGLE CUZ IT'LL JUST TAKE LONGER! TRY TO RUN AND I'LL CATCH YOU! TRY TO HIDE AND I'LL FIND YOU! I HAVE ANGRY HORNETS FLYING AROUND IN MY SKULL!! AUUGHH!!! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIIIIIIIII
*click*
The preceding message was a paid advertisement from:
CoreOfSelf Technologies Inc.
and does not necessarily reflect the views of our member stations or sponsors.
Dude, TV would be so much cooler if I was in charge of it. There would only be 3 sitcoms, and they'll be called White People, Black People and Hispanic People; you know, just so simplify the focus groups. Oh, and they'll all have pretty much the same theme song:
Whiiiiiiiite People
Whiiiiiiiite People
This show is for
whiiiiiiite people
don't change the channel
(dun dun dun)
during the commercials!
(do do-do!)
and ya know, swap out white for Black or Hispanic accordingly. Every other show would just be some random length-no more half hour blocks. Some shows would only have 4.3 minutes of airtime at random intervals throughout the day. And shows wouldn't be on at regular time intervals. To find out when your favorite show is on you'd have to solve Second Order Nonlinear Differential equations using seed polynomials generated from a massive decaying isotope. We'll say that's how the shows are picked, but it will really be by an angry monkey wearing an eyepatch and a Hello Kitty diaper jumping on a modified twister board while me and the other network execs throw toothpaste covered brocolli and flaming dollar bills encrusted with elepant teeth at it.
And every movie station would only be able to play Fear Dot Com, The Core, House of the Dead, Magnolia and Up The Creek. That is, when they're not playing every single Faces of Death movie back to back at the same time.
Just give me control of all TV programming in America for 2 weeks, and people will be throwing their TVs off of the tops of high buildings and gouging out their eyes with clamshells.
....
Yup. Hundred Years of Solitude is destroying my brain, just like I thought it would. Good. My brain sucked.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
pulloffmywings:
thanks darlin 
you know, so many people know me as Wings, that'd be a good name for me, hehe
you know, so many people know me as Wings, that'd be a good name for me, hehe
pulloffmywings:
yeah, the apostrophe makes me feel like a rockstar 