what a crazy year. ups and downs.... more downs than ups... and fuck I never knew that I'd be where I am today.
If I was to summarize this year in one word it would definitely be unreal. There were many times this year (more than I care to admit) that I could have stepped oustide my body and incredulously asked, "This is what's happening?!" But everytime I answered my own question, "oh yes, like it or not, this is what's happening"
I aged a lot more this year - not externally, of course - but my mind, my heart, it grew a good 10 years in the last 365 days. I hope that all this aging has at least brought me a good handful of life lessons, though - if it hasn't then, well, I'd just as well give up.
Was this a good year? maybe.
I definitely felt more pain than anything - more than just having my breasts skewered and the other insane physical pains I went through - that's just my body, and bodies heal.
The biggest pain, though, was experiencing the heartbreak - raw and nasty, dishonest and abusive - it blindsided me, crippled my insides... and changed me forever.
2006 will definitely see a single me - it's going to take at least that long for me to get my heart ready to be vulnerable again. (Don't get me wrong though, I'm going to fuck my way through next lear like a little bunny)
But there were good parts to the year too - on an upside to the heartbreak, I got out of a relationship that everyone but me saw was abusive.
I met great new people, adopted a brother and a wifey into my chosen family, and have been taken in by a loving leather family who wants nothing but the best for me.
I had a cathartic week in the desert when I needed it most, and I'm counting the days until I return to Black Rock City (247 days, 20 hours, 20 minutes, and 10 seconds to be exact).
So yeah it was a crazy year, with a couple of highs, and many lows... I gave a lot this year, and didnt get much back. Soooo..... what better way to end the year though but in a mosh pit of kink.
So yes, I'm off to LA, to say Fuck You 2005 in the best way I possible can - I have days of play with wonderful people scheduled, a couple shoots, and I'm brining in the new year with a flesh hook suspension on January 1.
Hopefully I'll return with a shit-eating grin and a lot less weight on my chest (figuratively, of course, no way anyone's making my tits any smaller!
However you decide to celebrate, I hope you all have a wonderful New Year - 2006 is almost here.... Fuck yea!!
If I was to summarize this year in one word it would definitely be unreal. There were many times this year (more than I care to admit) that I could have stepped oustide my body and incredulously asked, "This is what's happening?!" But everytime I answered my own question, "oh yes, like it or not, this is what's happening"
I aged a lot more this year - not externally, of course - but my mind, my heart, it grew a good 10 years in the last 365 days. I hope that all this aging has at least brought me a good handful of life lessons, though - if it hasn't then, well, I'd just as well give up.
Was this a good year? maybe.
I definitely felt more pain than anything - more than just having my breasts skewered and the other insane physical pains I went through - that's just my body, and bodies heal.
The biggest pain, though, was experiencing the heartbreak - raw and nasty, dishonest and abusive - it blindsided me, crippled my insides... and changed me forever.
2006 will definitely see a single me - it's going to take at least that long for me to get my heart ready to be vulnerable again. (Don't get me wrong though, I'm going to fuck my way through next lear like a little bunny)
But there were good parts to the year too - on an upside to the heartbreak, I got out of a relationship that everyone but me saw was abusive.
I met great new people, adopted a brother and a wifey into my chosen family, and have been taken in by a loving leather family who wants nothing but the best for me.
I had a cathartic week in the desert when I needed it most, and I'm counting the days until I return to Black Rock City (247 days, 20 hours, 20 minutes, and 10 seconds to be exact).
So yeah it was a crazy year, with a couple of highs, and many lows... I gave a lot this year, and didnt get much back. Soooo..... what better way to end the year though but in a mosh pit of kink.
So yes, I'm off to LA, to say Fuck You 2005 in the best way I possible can - I have days of play with wonderful people scheduled, a couple shoots, and I'm brining in the new year with a flesh hook suspension on January 1.
Hopefully I'll return with a shit-eating grin and a lot less weight on my chest (figuratively, of course, no way anyone's making my tits any smaller!
However you decide to celebrate, I hope you all have a wonderful New Year - 2006 is almost here.... Fuck yea!!
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(a day or two late... been busy doin' nothing...)
Happy New Year!