I’ve always battled with depression and anxiety.
My mom had it rough growing up. She also suffered, still does, with bi-polar disorder. I always watched her struggle emotionally with my brother and other everyday issues. I don’t think she ever realized the way she carried herself or dealt with her problems, would have an affect on me.
I developed fears of social interactions. I was also affraid of being a burden, so I would stop telling her when I wasn’t feeling well or when I was hungry.
I built up walls and kept myself in. For a long time I didn’t really talk to anyone. Not about me anyway. A lot of bad happened to me because of it. I struggled with depression and anxiety during my teenage years, and currently, because I couldn’t come to terms with thighs I allowed to happen. I blamed my mother and my brother for years. Thinking that they were the problem.
But, I realized my lack of forgiveness and ability to move on was my problem. It’s ok to feel sad but it’s not ok to dwell over it. Always look to heal. Find your outlet. Grow through your fear and sadness.
I still get those days where I don’t want to wake up and my own mind is telling me I’m not good enough. But I have more happy days. And those days are magical. So I keep pushing.
I hope every person who’s going through it, keeps pushing through. ❤️
