Why do I feel like my life is on this permenant self destruct? Just everything I do in life it's like I purposely screw it up. Sometimes I just set myself up to fall. I build up my hopes & expectations only to watch them crumble & fall. I build up my ideas about people & situations in my life to be more than what they really are.
There are times I get really siked up about something that's going on or something that I MAY get to do. All the while I know that it's not going to last or that it's only a possibillityof it even happening.
I do the same with girls. I get attached easily, I fall hard quick, I just set myself up to fall & that I do. I get to involved to quick,not always physically but emotionally, which usually leaves me flat on my face.
I fucking wear my heart on my sleeve. I like to think I'm good at hiding it when I really need to though. Anyone who get's close to me get's a pretty good look at the real me though. I hate it! I feel like a fucking fragile little child sometimes! What gets me though is there are times I'm just like "Eh, fuck it." & I don't know how to swith it off.
I sometimes wonder if I'm just deep down inside unhappy with that aspect of my life & so I just tear it down to try & point myself in another direction. Sure, that makes sense. Right? Whatever the reason is I keep falling I always manage to pick myself up again. I just brush myself off try to hide the scars left behind, try & get my life back together & move on... It's a vicious cycle that I figure will end the day I finally get on that right road with that right girl... Maybe even just solo, only time will tell.
There are times I get really siked up about something that's going on or something that I MAY get to do. All the while I know that it's not going to last or that it's only a possibillityof it even happening.
I do the same with girls. I get attached easily, I fall hard quick, I just set myself up to fall & that I do. I get to involved to quick,not always physically but emotionally, which usually leaves me flat on my face.
I fucking wear my heart on my sleeve. I like to think I'm good at hiding it when I really need to though. Anyone who get's close to me get's a pretty good look at the real me though. I hate it! I feel like a fucking fragile little child sometimes! What gets me though is there are times I'm just like "Eh, fuck it." & I don't know how to swith it off.
I sometimes wonder if I'm just deep down inside unhappy with that aspect of my life & so I just tear it down to try & point myself in another direction. Sure, that makes sense. Right? Whatever the reason is I keep falling I always manage to pick myself up again. I just brush myself off try to hide the scars left behind, try & get my life back together & move on... It's a vicious cycle that I figure will end the day I finally get on that right road with that right girl... Maybe even just solo, only time will tell.