direchocobo

Yesterday at work, I noticed the banding machine we use has some kick to it if you pull the crank all the way back and let it go. So of course, I tried to launch shit off of it. I mean, what else was I supposed to do? You find something that has that sort of forward moving force, and you try to use it as a catapult, duh. Anyway, I tried to launch something, and my index finger just so happened to be in the wrong place, and got mangled by this thing. It got better quick, but was kinda nasty with the skin all pulled out and shredded up. It got caught in the stamp with tons of little teeth that holds the banding down. When the skin started flattening out finally, my hand was a bloody mess.

Later, there were a couple of the batteries from one of our accounts just laying around, since they fell off the pallet because they were packaged shitty before they got sent to us. Seriously, a pallet full of huge batteries, and they wrapped cardboard around it, and stuck some styrofoam on top. Good way to package your product jerkoffs. It was a 12 volt 7.2 amp battery, and since I was bored, I kept tapping the hammer against the terminals. (It was a slow day) Then I tapped the tape measure against them, and it burned a chunk out of it. Then I got the bright idea to hold a paper clip with pliers, and do the same. It blew the thing into three pieces, welded one piece to the positive terminal, welded another chunk to itself, and not only merely heated the third piece, but set in on fire, and embedded it into the plastic covering. The smoke was even hot enough to scar the plastic.

So yeah, I pretty much get paid to do stupid shit.