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dinosaurus

Sacramento

Member Since 2005

Followers 12 Following 13

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Sunday Jan 28, 2007

Jan 28, 2007
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Life is not completely shitty! Just mostly.

I'm working too much, and it's making me crazy. Living with three guys is STILL a struggle.

More checking in than actually blogging. I am alive, I am far too busy, our computer went caput, and we are relying on a roomie's computer for internetting purposes.

I was unintentionally nosy this morning while cleaning our bedroom, and I was reading my boyfriend's notebook. Not something I really want to do. He's probably up there now looking for any incriminating writings that could hurt my feelings. Just a little blurb that made me feel so very plain, ugly and un-sexy. Not that I am very sexy on an every day basis-- on the contrary, I am rather geeky, awkward and nervous. It just hurts when the one you love and trust seems wistful that he didn't choose the other girl he was thinking of dating before we got started. I've had a complex about this chick since I first learned that I was "chosen" over her. I'm jealous. She's what I wish I was. (Here's where I get super-pathetic) She's tattooed, always has awesome hair and makeup, dresses better than I could afford to. These are not my strong suits.

I am awkward, funny, intelligent, loyal to a fault. I am not cool. I am not tattooed (I am indecisive, and can't make up my mind where I want my robot, or what I would like it to look like. I am also scared to go into to tattoo shop. Something I need to work on.) I am nervous! I AM AFRAID OF CONFRONTATION.

I need to work on me!

Ok, I guess this did get a bit bloggy.

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