I didn't realize it was Valentine's Day until I went to write down that I had a quiz in my CompLit class next week and saw it on the calendar. It's not that I hate the holiday. It's just that I didn't realize we were this far into February yet. I heard people talking about it, and I saw the BG, but I thought it was still like the 8th. I gotta pay some bills, quick-like.
I got rejected for the first time in my life the other day. It was actually kinda awesome. It was the first time I dialed someone up and asked them out. She said no, but I didn't feel stupid like I thought I would, and I haven't really thought about her since. It's a lot better to get it out there and get shot down than to not act on it and obsess over it until she starts dating someone else. I've always done that in the past and it sucks. I think I'll try this way from now on.
The other night, I was tired and drunk and loopy from cold medicine. I was alone in my apartment thinking about stuff. It's hard to convey trains of thought, especially drunk ones. But it was something like this: "I know there's someone in my life who's really fucking awesome. I should be in a relationship with them. Who the hell am I thinking about? ... Oh, yeah. Me. ... That guy rules. I should be dating him. ... Wait. ... Damn." It's one thing to say that you like yourself. But I think the fact that I would come to that conclusion in that state of mind means I am literally in love with myself. It's a tragic romance, really. But it's a pretty awesome place to be. I do get bored, but never lonely. How can you be lonely when your favorite person in the whole world never leaves your side? It doesn't mean I don't care about other people or treat them as less. I just don't think anyone will ever means as much to me as I do. Maybe I'll be proven wrong some day. I'm always looking for new, interesting people to spend my time with. But I don't feel any absence in my life that needs to be filled.
So I guess my Valentine this year would be me. And I'm lucky to have him. I bought myself some Cherry Limeaid this morning, and it's sweeter than anything in the world has any right to be.
(I don't usually use that emoticon, so get it while the getting's good.)
I got rejected for the first time in my life the other day. It was actually kinda awesome. It was the first time I dialed someone up and asked them out. She said no, but I didn't feel stupid like I thought I would, and I haven't really thought about her since. It's a lot better to get it out there and get shot down than to not act on it and obsess over it until she starts dating someone else. I've always done that in the past and it sucks. I think I'll try this way from now on.
The other night, I was tired and drunk and loopy from cold medicine. I was alone in my apartment thinking about stuff. It's hard to convey trains of thought, especially drunk ones. But it was something like this: "I know there's someone in my life who's really fucking awesome. I should be in a relationship with them. Who the hell am I thinking about? ... Oh, yeah. Me. ... That guy rules. I should be dating him. ... Wait. ... Damn." It's one thing to say that you like yourself. But I think the fact that I would come to that conclusion in that state of mind means I am literally in love with myself. It's a tragic romance, really. But it's a pretty awesome place to be. I do get bored, but never lonely. How can you be lonely when your favorite person in the whole world never leaves your side? It doesn't mean I don't care about other people or treat them as less. I just don't think anyone will ever means as much to me as I do. Maybe I'll be proven wrong some day. I'm always looking for new, interesting people to spend my time with. But I don't feel any absence in my life that needs to be filled.
So I guess my Valentine this year would be me. And I'm lucky to have him. I bought myself some Cherry Limeaid this morning, and it's sweeter than anything in the world has any right to be.
(I don't usually use that emoticon, so get it while the getting's good.)
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I'd ask the guys that I like out, but they all seem to have girlfriends, so..it wouldn'tbe very nice of me.
Hooray for the kissy emoticon!
I think I was my own Valentine, too.