digitalpimp2007

ya know, relationships are kinda funny. i'm 30 now, and well, i can say that i feel differently about things that i thought 10 years ago, i would feel the same about. its also, strange, how the healing process works from an old relationship gone sour. i dated a girl for a lil over a year, we broke up august 5th of 2005. i wish i could say it was a good break up, but, it wasnt. she had been cheating on me throughtout our relationship, but, i didnt know it. everything seemed perfect to me, minus the usually things, lil fights. after the break up, we stil talked. she wanted me back, or something to that affect. so, we started talking towards the end of august. a week or two into it, she was seeing another guy, while still with me. so, i stopped talkin to her. once again, she kept callin me, leaving voice mails, so, i would talk to her on line, about how i felt, and how i still loved her and wanted her back. her birthday was coming up on november 5th. i thought, maybe, things would be different with a lil time between us. on her birthday, i talked to her, and things seemed good. i few days later, i made plans to take her out. the day that we were supposed to do something, she made up a bullshit excuse, and we didnt do anything. after that, i decided to cut her off, and i didnt talk to her, for 3 months. so, now its feb. and she has been callin me, leaving messages on my phone, messaging me for the last 3 months. i decide to talk to her, see what she wants, and why she keeps bugging me. she tells me she wants to talk. so, i agree. i agree to meet her somewhere, and talk in person. i meet her on fri feb 17th. i pretty much knew that if things went well, i was gonna ask her to come to nyc with me for the day on sat. so we met at applebees, we talked for 3 hours there. i asked her to go, and she said yes. we went our seperate ways, and met up in the morning sat. went to nyc, the bus ride was kind of emotional. we were listening to my ipod, different songs would come on, that reminded us of our relationship. we got there, we had the best time ever, walked around, i thought, man, things are good. boy was i ever wrong. the next day we went to a show, she went with her friends, i just met her there. she pretty much ignored me the whole time, and i got pissed off and called her out on it. she said she was sorry, and that she wanted to be with me, and she'd see me later that night, she was gonna sleep over. which she did, nothing happened other than sleeping, which i was fine with. later in the week, she kept coming over, we would hang out, but i could tell something wasnt right. she didnt have that, "i cant wait to see u and spend every moment with u" attitude. i could tell, she wasnt totally happy. to make a long story short.......she was seeing two other guys while she was seeing me, and i caught her meeting up with one of them, right after she promised to spend the whole day with me cause i had off work. she came over for an hour and a half, laid in my bed, practically slept, and then went home and changed, did her make up and left to meet this other guy. i felt like something was wrong, so i went to the diner that i thought she was gonna be at, and i was right, there she was. i could have caused a fuckin scene, but i didnt. she was with a group of about 5 or six people. i walked up to the booth she was sitting at, tapped her on the shoulder, she turned around, i gave her the peace sign, and didnt say i word and walked out. i still havent talked to her since. the reason i'm writing all this in here, is mostly, cause i know, no one will really read it. secondly, i had an away message up, and it said, "whore". she messaged me, thinking it was meant for her. it wasnt, but, funny that she knows she a whore. good job danni, keep up the good work. its even better, that i'm becoming friends with a good number of people, and everyone knows that she is a whore. she hangs out with guys that she thinks will make her popular. maybe she didnt know, but fucking people and using them, and hangin out with them because u think it will raise ur social status, doesnt really do anything for u. people arent stupid, maybe u can bullshit them for a lil, but they catch on, and realize that your a fake piece of shit. its safe to say, everyone knows that she sleeps around, and lies, and really is just a fake person. i guess my final thoughts on this are.................

you know, when u do something wrong, something inside you, tells you, you made a bad choice. true, u have to live with that choice. however, how can you look at yourself everyday in the mirror and not want to change that person, knowing that your just doin things that are wrong all the way around. im not saying i'm with out fault, i am not perfect, and i know that. all im saying, is, your soul must be pretty worthless if you keep doin the things your doin, and have no remorse for hurting people, and toying with their emotions. its even worse, when u have a tattoo around ur wrist that reads,"only god can judge me" and your myspace says," god is my savior, he made me who i am". dnt use god..............people judge u by ur actions, and if u act like a 14 year old whore, people will treat u like one. god didnt make u a liar, a cheater, a whore.........YOU chose to do those things......yea, i'm being up front about a lot, and yea, i've made some poor choices as well, but i never put god in front of me, to use as a reason to not care what people say.............i took the blame for poor actions and changed me................enough