diggity

Have you evered heard a version of that song that goes a little something like this:
"I wish I was a mole in the ground
I wish I was a mole in the ground
If I's a mole in the ground, I'd root that mountain down
And I wish I was a mole in the ground..."

I was singing that today, mostly to myself, but coming up with different lyrics:
"I wish I was a hole in the ground...
If I's a hole in the ground, I'd make you all fall down...
I wish I was a car on the road...
...I'd squish you like a toad...
I wish I was a cloud in the sky...
...my lightn'n make you fry...
I wish I was an asteroid comin' down...
...I'd crash into your town
And I wish I was an asteroid comin' down."

But, I was in a pretty good mood today. It was mostly just funny to think of different ways to metaphorically hurt a hypothetical someone.
Now I pass the fun onto you. Give me some good verses.

diggity