Well, it's the second most festive holiday around, and in honor of all things Irish, I found a couple of limericks to celebrate with:
There was an old lady from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
In less than an hour
Her tits were in flower
And her arse was convered in weeds.
There was a man from Kent
Whose knob was rather bent;
To save himself trouble
He put it in double
And instead of coming he went.
If you've heard these before, than I apologize. Try making one up yourself following this simple format:
There once was a pauper named _____
Who accidentally broke her _____
She slipped on the _____
Not once, but _____
Take no pity on her, the _____.
Just remember, the first, second and fifth line have to rhyme with each other; the third and fourth line rhyme with each other.
Drink lots of Guinness!
There was an old lady from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
In less than an hour
Her tits were in flower
And her arse was convered in weeds.
There was a man from Kent
Whose knob was rather bent;
To save himself trouble
He put it in double
And instead of coming he went.
If you've heard these before, than I apologize. Try making one up yourself following this simple format:
There once was a pauper named _____
Who accidentally broke her _____
She slipped on the _____
Not once, but _____
Take no pity on her, the _____.
Just remember, the first, second and fifth line have to rhyme with each other; the third and fourth line rhyme with each other.
Drink lots of Guinness!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
velocity:
It's the SG National Honor Society, where the elite go to bask in each other's glory. If you follow the link, it'll take you to our page and give you instructions on how to apply. You'd have to write an eloquent essay to gain admittance, but somehow I don't think that would be a problem for you. 
tryst:
I love limericks. When I was 9, I found a book of dirty limericks on my father's bookshelf, and I used to sneak in and read them when he wasn't around. I also found the key to his porn drawer 2 years later, which was a joyous occasion and an entirely different story. Cheers. 