Sometimes, I suck at this updating thing, but *eh* my life is busy, so sue me.
Well, I finally did it. I got some balls and cut him off, for real this time - of course, he can't fucking read - I said, "don't contact me unless your shit is together which means breaking up with <name deleted> and you're living your life according to your rules, not everyone else's". What does he do? Gets home from being out of town, reads my ultimatum, and....fucking contacts me. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus. On one hand, least I don't have to worry about him never wanting to speak to me again, on the other hand, he cleary failed the Reading Comprehension part of the assignment. I firmly reiterated the "don't contact me" part, told him I was taking him off of IM, told him he knew where to find me if he meant business, and good luck with everything. Then, I did just that. Too fucking tempting (and too painful) to have him be easily accessible. If he wants me, he has to work for me. And be able to fucking read.
I'd feel worse about the whole thing except that as his friend I was doing him no favors by silently suborning the whole situation, and also was doing me no favors by accepting a position as second best. Call me arrogant (and it'll be well-deserved and I won't care) but I'm way too fucking awesome to settle for second best. Fuck that, motherfucker.
Anyways at least now I can move on with my life and it's up to him to do what he needs to do to be a part of it.
I would also feel worse about it if I hadn't gone out tonight with my 'bro' Alice, wherein we had some drinks (2 for 1 baby), reminisced about hilarious growing up stories, and ate fajitas. We ended up going to dinner, finishing dinner (and rounds 1 and 2 of drinks), going outside, having a cig, and deciding that the night was far from over, returned to the restaurant of choice and sat at their bar nursing our 2 for 1 beers. God bless America. We would have kept going except that each of us has these respective "responsibilites" or some such shit and we needed some sleep.
In all seriousness though, I hope that in making this decision he finds the courage to achieve happiness/contentment, however that comes about, and even if I'm not involved in it. If that's not what is meant to happen, then I have to accept it graciously as part of life.
But shit, I'd really like him to still be in my life. But well and healthy and entanglement free, not in his current state.
Well, I finally did it. I got some balls and cut him off, for real this time - of course, he can't fucking read - I said, "don't contact me unless your shit is together which means breaking up with <name deleted> and you're living your life according to your rules, not everyone else's". What does he do? Gets home from being out of town, reads my ultimatum, and....fucking contacts me. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus. On one hand, least I don't have to worry about him never wanting to speak to me again, on the other hand, he cleary failed the Reading Comprehension part of the assignment. I firmly reiterated the "don't contact me" part, told him I was taking him off of IM, told him he knew where to find me if he meant business, and good luck with everything. Then, I did just that. Too fucking tempting (and too painful) to have him be easily accessible. If he wants me, he has to work for me. And be able to fucking read.
I'd feel worse about the whole thing except that as his friend I was doing him no favors by silently suborning the whole situation, and also was doing me no favors by accepting a position as second best. Call me arrogant (and it'll be well-deserved and I won't care) but I'm way too fucking awesome to settle for second best. Fuck that, motherfucker.
Anyways at least now I can move on with my life and it's up to him to do what he needs to do to be a part of it.
I would also feel worse about it if I hadn't gone out tonight with my 'bro' Alice, wherein we had some drinks (2 for 1 baby), reminisced about hilarious growing up stories, and ate fajitas. We ended up going to dinner, finishing dinner (and rounds 1 and 2 of drinks), going outside, having a cig, and deciding that the night was far from over, returned to the restaurant of choice and sat at their bar nursing our 2 for 1 beers. God bless America. We would have kept going except that each of us has these respective "responsibilites" or some such shit and we needed some sleep.
In all seriousness though, I hope that in making this decision he finds the courage to achieve happiness/contentment, however that comes about, and even if I'm not involved in it. If that's not what is meant to happen, then I have to accept it graciously as part of life.
But shit, I'd really like him to still be in my life. But well and healthy and entanglement free, not in his current state.
tim_in_tampa:
Hey, how are you doing? What's new with you?