I'm just warning you now, this is going to be one of those semi-emo posts based a lot on emotional turmoil and intense pressure.
/warning
Fact: I'm 26 years old.
Fact: This is the time of my life where I am supposed to be out exploring "myself", whoever she is, a more carefree time of my life than further down the road when I have a family of my own and other responsibilities.
Fact: If this is the carefree time of my life, then god, I am fucked. I'm half in love with someone who couldn't give less of a shit about me (my fault) and I can't seem to get over him no matter how much I want to, I'm going back to school soon and OH YEAH some asshole client that thinks we ripped him off marched into my office the other day and laid out how he was going to destroy my business. My business, that I ripped my life apart to run. My business that has seen so much of my blood, sweat and tears. My business that keeps me awake at night and unable to relax.
And he thinks he is going to fucking DESTROY it? Oh, I don't think so, asshole. You are far too naive to be messing with me.
And the same goes for the other asshole in my life. 95% of my anger is the fact that no matter how hard I try, I can't slam that fucking door shut on his hands like I want to. He gets everything, and I get nothing, and I know there's at least one reader here who would be more than right in smiling smugly and telling me "i told you so". I cannot abide not being able to just shut him out of my mind the same way I've been able to shut other distractions both romantic and practical out of my head. It's one of my greatest strengths, and here, it's totally failed me.
Ugh enough emo fucking ranting, I'm going to go raid my pharmaceutical stash and hope that somewhere in there, a couple valium will make the world go away.
/warning
Fact: I'm 26 years old.
Fact: This is the time of my life where I am supposed to be out exploring "myself", whoever she is, a more carefree time of my life than further down the road when I have a family of my own and other responsibilities.
Fact: If this is the carefree time of my life, then god, I am fucked. I'm half in love with someone who couldn't give less of a shit about me (my fault) and I can't seem to get over him no matter how much I want to, I'm going back to school soon and OH YEAH some asshole client that thinks we ripped him off marched into my office the other day and laid out how he was going to destroy my business. My business, that I ripped my life apart to run. My business that has seen so much of my blood, sweat and tears. My business that keeps me awake at night and unable to relax.
And he thinks he is going to fucking DESTROY it? Oh, I don't think so, asshole. You are far too naive to be messing with me.
And the same goes for the other asshole in my life. 95% of my anger is the fact that no matter how hard I try, I can't slam that fucking door shut on his hands like I want to. He gets everything, and I get nothing, and I know there's at least one reader here who would be more than right in smiling smugly and telling me "i told you so". I cannot abide not being able to just shut him out of my mind the same way I've been able to shut other distractions both romantic and practical out of my head. It's one of my greatest strengths, and here, it's totally failed me.
Ugh enough emo fucking ranting, I'm going to go raid my pharmaceutical stash and hope that somewhere in there, a couple valium will make the world go away.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
patience1:
Ahh yes, the old insisting people show up to work. So cruel of us hard working people isn't it? Seriously.. if I had a dollar for every time somebody didn't show up to work or showed up ridiculously late or left ridiculously early I would have a nice vacation paid for by now.
xxchocotacoxx:
Good luck. 