Today's mood: angry
I'm angry at the world today...angry that I have to feel like this, angry that I have to deal with this bullshit every single FUCKING day for the rest of my FUCKING life, angry that I feel so alone now, angry that I am so diligent with meds and therapy and getting "rewarded" for it by puking and wooziness and stumbling into walls.
I am so tired of getting back up again.
Yeah, it's a process, but this isn't living. I miss my old life back in Delaware, I miss my sister, I miss <name edited for safety's sake> terribly, I miss just being able to go over to someone's house when the shit hit the fan and sit and be distracted by company, beer, and tv.
I feel like I've fucked up everything I've ever touched.
I don't want anyone to be interested in me ever again, I'll just ruin them like I've ruined everybody else. I don't want to go down that road of pain and hurt and bullshit ever again.
I am so frustrated and full of rage and in a world of pain.
I'm angry at the world today...angry that I have to feel like this, angry that I have to deal with this bullshit every single FUCKING day for the rest of my FUCKING life, angry that I feel so alone now, angry that I am so diligent with meds and therapy and getting "rewarded" for it by puking and wooziness and stumbling into walls.
I am so tired of getting back up again.
Yeah, it's a process, but this isn't living. I miss my old life back in Delaware, I miss my sister, I miss <name edited for safety's sake> terribly, I miss just being able to go over to someone's house when the shit hit the fan and sit and be distracted by company, beer, and tv.
I feel like I've fucked up everything I've ever touched.
I don't want anyone to be interested in me ever again, I'll just ruin them like I've ruined everybody else. I don't want to go down that road of pain and hurt and bullshit ever again.
I am so frustrated and full of rage and in a world of pain.
__lex__:
*hug*