dhalia

okay, well...

i don't really think anything new has happened. there has been progress made on my boy situation. just because he's trying and i am letting him. but i'm scared. i am going to get all into it again, fall for everything he says again, and then fall flat on my face... AGAIN. why must boys do this to me? but honestly, i'm trying not to think like that. i'm honestly trying to give him a fair chance. i must not judge and decide what is going to happen before it even happens. that isn't fair to either of us. but does this deserve a chance even? or have i already given it enough? i don't know!!

less frustrating things... my birthday is tomorrow!!! its hard to believe its already here. i really hope it doesn't go out without a bang. i'm going to be 21 and for some reason that feels like a big deal. it probably isn't. but it feels like it. it feels like i've been 20 forever. and 21 is soooo much older. but at the same time, after going through what i did with my ex, its hard to remember that i really am just this young. HE'S the old one. HE'S the one who is almost 30 and still doing absolutely nothing with his life. not me. i still have all of mine ahead of me. every opportunity in the world in front of me. i'm doing alright.

as well... i'm thinking about the fact that tomorrow it becomes apparently who will be chosen for SCS. there is always a little hope in the back of my mind, although i really don't think it'll happen. i think that my set is too old, and that i really just need to do a new one. i have to get on that! maybe i will make my friend with the camera look over some of my favourite sets and do his homework so we can shoot one... actually thats not a bad idea. he'll be here soon!

and just as another note... pro freestyle skiier, tj schiller (i went to elementary school and high school with the kid) turns 21 today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TJ!