dexv33

A few years ago, I heard strange noises in the garden. It was a really hot day, think it was may, and I was in and out of the garden and shed most of the day building up a new section of decking. I kept hearing strange noises from the garden but I dismissed it as the neighbours animals. Eventually I wandered to the far boundry wall to take a measurement and found a kitten laying in the grass. It couldn't have been more than a few hours old. It was only slightly longer than my finger. It's eyes hadn't even opened yet. It was the one making the squealing noise. It was safe enough where it was and I didn't want to disturb it or move it incase the mother came back. Hours passed and the kitten hadn't done anything but wriggle and squeel. It wasn't pleasant. I even left the garden in case I was scaring the mother off. I went for a wander into the fields a few hours later and found one of my neighbours cats lying dead in a field. I recognised it because it spent a lot of time in our garden, in the spot that kitten had been left. I went back and got a shovel and buried the mother, then picked the kitten up and brought inside.
I found some dosing syringes I used on the farm and used them to feed him since I figured the squealing was partly hunger. The poor thing lapped it up. I found a shoe box and lined it with some soft face towels. God she was so small. Everytime I put my finger on her chest I could feel her pulse racing.
I continued feeding her intermittently and checking on her every half hour or so. I bonded so quick with her, maybe it's because she was so vulnerable. I knew something was wrong though. I could feel it. I don't know why.
She lived for 3 days. I heard her squealing when I was in bed and I went to check on her, an hour later she was gone. I had her in my left hand with my right index finger on her chest. I felt the last pulses going through her body. I felt the last beat of her heart. And I listened to her last squeal.

I have never in my life felt so helpless or uneasy.

I have killed or watched being killed dozens of sheep, cows and various other animals but I've never felt a lot other than respect for a noble animals death.