I think I'm doing better some. I'm finally staying on top of laundry. This is the first term I am actually getting assignments down in a timely manner instead of rushing last minute, hours before they're due. I've started getting back to PT and light working out after slacking for months because of everything going on trying to move across the country. I still say hurtful things about myself internally, but I am working on it. If only it were so simple as to just stop. But it's a learned behavior at this point that I need to acknowledge as such. It always feels like I deserve it and it's all true.
Something new. I am in the middle of going back and forth revising an article with an editor. I have been asked to write it on my story about my borderline personality disorder, depression, and anxiety, and how I have struggled to get proper health care all these years for them. This is crazy weird and scary for me. I am putting so much about my life out there for others to read. Ill be officially published as a writer for the first time ever. I'm scared and kind of excited. I have been asked to talk a bit about my medical use of cannabis, if i so choose, but I am not sure I can bring myself to, that's a big plate to step up to on top of putting out my medical history almost like this by discussing things and how they make me feel, and how i have struggled, and where I am headed now with my life with my little family. The topic of cannabis an parenthood is so political these days and I don't want someone trying to cause added stress by stirring up trouble over my choice in medication. I strong advocate for anyone's ability to use cannabis, but I am careful about my publicity with it because of the stigmas.
Only a week away before I get to go back to New England for a visit with friends and family. I'm homesick for the familiarity of the roads and towns I've spent years riding and driving through. Moving to Arizona has been overwhelming with all the obstacles, and then psychotic landlords we ended up with the for the month of December before getting out of their shit hole that was a scam of a house rental. Now were living with a distant family member of mine while we start over once again and save for a new RV while we try to sell the old one we had to leave back in PA. After the nightmare of trying to rent that house, we've reaffirmed that renting anything is not for us and the full-time RV lifestyle is still the way to go. We loved moving around NH all last summer in our 40 yr old Winnebago, but she just couldn't make it the whole move without needing more work than we wanted to put in after putting so much in already.
My instagram is slowly rebuilding, but i think my husbands cat Little Havasu is going to surpass me at this rate as shes gaining followers faster lmao XD
I'm just trying to stay focused, positive, motivated. Fingers crossed I can keep my shit together.
