It's been one full year since I joined SuicideGirls, can you believe it? So much has changed for me in these last 12 months its unbelievable. But trust me when I say that I truly am happy about being a Hopeful.

What I'm not happy with is the fact that I keep getting sick. I haven't had a UTI in nearly 2 months because I've been taking far less baths, drinking less soda, and drinking more water. But lately, with the stress of the boyfriend going through finals and being scheduled off 5 days in a row at work, it's been flaring up horribly. It also stops me from having sex, which I really don't like.

I'm also not happy with the fact that everytime I start a new job, things go down the shitter nearly 3 months after working there. After getting checked off on different positions, you're supposed to get a small raise... sort of like an incentive to keep going, right? Well I noticed I hadn't gotten that on my paystub, asked the GM about it, and he replied back "oh yeah. we will be discussing pay wages and the changes being made at the next meeting" which is in a week or two. I was told when I interviewed that by the end of it, I would be paid nearly $11/hr as a shift supervisor but currently I'm only getting $8. Is it a first world problem? Definitely. I know there are other things that need more attention than that. But it stresses me out when I can't help contribute to buy groceries or get dog food. I mean, I already don't pay any rent but with the other bills I have and now with Christmas coming up, it's freaking me out.

I'm also in a lot of pain because of the infection. In the time I've been typing this, I've needed to stop 3 times so I wouldn't throw the keyboard across the room. Meh.

Sorry this wasn't a happy blog post today. Simply put my life is far from peaches and cream all of the time. In fact, it's mostly extremely stressful and chaotic. But I'll make it through, just like before.

Until then~ <3Devitra