devilish

so today, my ex husband deployed. this his first, and even with all we have been through... it was hard to go through. i never want to do it again. it did make me realize that when our marriage was at a good point, how much i really did love him. the hardest part was watching him walk away. you just have no promises in life that hell ever come back. no matter what bad things have happened in our marriage i dont want him to come to harm during this time... he has 6 months which is a lot better then most have to to through. its going to be a long hard time for me, but ill get to do a lot of thinking and get my head together. ill be his support system and my arms will comfort him when he comes home. i want to say maybe things could work out and we will have a happy ending but im not setting myself up for hurt. ill expect the worst and hope for the best... please come home safe, let me feel you once more. even if its the last time...