devildoll23

I opened the door, and I couldn't believe that he actually came to see me. He looked me straight in the eye and said please forgive me, you didn't deserve the things that I did to you. I was horrible and ignorant, and I miss you more then anything in the world. I looked him straight in the eye fell on the ground and cried histarically. He didn't understand how long I've been waiting for him to appologise... so he knelt down and held me, but i felt totaly and completly empty inside. He could sense that something wasn't right, I wasn't me... i seemed lost. His eyes became big and he realized that I had done it again. Then he said oh my god, jess, not again, you pushed him away didn't you. Why? Why? It's because of me... i made you this way, it's my fault. He started to cry and began to blaim himself for my defense mechanism. I never thought that I would see CB cry. Never in my life. I still can't believe he appologised... he just woke up and realized how much he fucked with me. No one deserves that kind of treatment, not even me. Anyways, I had to write about this... I didn't really have anyone to talk about it to because every time i mention cb's name my friends freak out at me. I guess they aren't always as understanding as i hoped they would be.