devildoll

I CHALLENGE THOSE OF YOU WITH A SHORT ATTENTION SPAN TO READ MY ENTIRE JOURNAL FOR ONCE...


Here are some comments my parents made to me last night that made want to puke up the meatloaf they had just fed me:


(Note: These were all said in complete seriousness and with their CLASSIC disapproving expression.)


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1. Wow, you dyed your hair. It looks very...um..........black.

2. You don't seem like the marrying or motherly type. Do you think you will ever change?

3. So....who are these "friends" that you've been spending time with?

4. So....these people on the website you mentioned...how old are they? Can you trust them?

5. I know you're having fun right now, but you should really start thinking about your future and where you want to be in five years.

6. So....this friend that you mentioned....exactly what type of modeling does she do?

6. And the funniest one..... Your cell phone called here by mistake at 2:30AM last Saturday. It sounded like there was alot of partying going on. What exactly were you doing?

******


blah, blah, blah, BLAH, BLAH!


MIND YOU: I'M 25 YEARS OLD!! (And apparently still the baby in their eyes)


My family drives me crazy. I am such the black sheep of my family, it's not even funny! Just because my sister and husband are going the normal (and BORING) route, they expect that I should as well.

Sorry Mom and Dad, I'm not ready to settle down, get married and have kids. Who knows if I EVER will. And if I don't, ITS OKAY! There's plenty of people out there who never do. And guess what? They are good, upstanding people. I'm having fun right now and I refuse to become what my sister and brother have become.

I'm so tired of the guilt trips. I'm so tired of the disapproving looks. I'm so tired of them giving me the third degree and having nothing positive to say in reponse. Instead, they just sit there staring at me.

*blink, blink, blink, blink, blink*

There is so much they are thinking, but they would NEVER dare to say.

*blink blink*

SAY SOMETHING!!


I feel bad that I am so wrapped up in my own life right now, but then again I DON'T! I cherish my freedom, but then again I've never felt completely free because I am always under the reign of their watchful eye.

I come from a pretty traditional Hispanic family which is very tight knit....almost cult-like. The kind of family that keeps everything "in the family," if you know what I mean. If you aren't part of that close-knit pact, they feel betrayed. They feel like you don't love them. When in fact, it's totally the opposite. I love them to DEATH, even my lil 3 year old niece, but I'm sorry, I'm not THAT PERSON that you want me to be...

I am not ready to sit there and fawn over my nieces like they are the center of the friggin universe. I refuse to talk in that annoying baby-talk voice. I want to have an intelligent conversation with you. I want you to be REAL with me. I want to have your undivided attention for once without being interrupted every ten seconds by "OH, HOW CUTE!! SHE JUST SAID DA-DA AGAIN!"

I'm so over it. It makes me want to move far, far away.

If that's what it's like to become a parent, to sacrafice everything you are (and were), I never wanna see the day. There are enough people in this world anyhow, and I am not so egotistical to think that I have to bring a little ME into this world.

Who knows...maybe my thoughts will change one day, but this is where they stand now.

Is that harsh?