devildoll

Writing on here has lost it's charm for me these days. Sounds jaded, I'm sorry.. I've just been so preoccupied. I have so much going on (maybe some of it being self-inflicted) that it seems like I never have a moment to rest. My life has become one perpetual list of things to do, and that list never ends.

My mindset is so black and white these days. Either stay on track, be a good girl, be responsible, accomplish each thing on my list one by one, do all the things I "should" be doing .... OR....risk partying too much, going off track, being too exhausted and mentally unstable to accomplish anything, and fucking everything up....to where I have to pick myself up and start all over again. I fear that I will lose control if I don't stay on course. But then I find myself getting bored and antsy. So it's kind of a Catch 22.

I think I just need to find a good, healthy balance. I'm probably taking on too much at once... I get impulsive like that.

My friends probably think I'm flighty as hell these days. Sorry. Maybe it's the winter. I hate the cold. It makes me want to retreat into a cave and not come out til springtime.

This past weekend was so nice that I decided to take a trip to go hiking in Joshua Tree. It soo beautiful there..I gotta make it a regular trip...